Welcome To The Fourth Quarter

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I don’t know exactly when it happened.

I remember being twenty. I remember thinking fifty sounded ancient. I remember believing there would always be another opportunity, another ministry, another conference, another dream to chase.

Then I blinked.

Somewhere between raising daughters, preaching thousands of sermons, writing books, coaching leaders, building strong NextGen Ministries, speaking in conferences, sitting in airport terminals, and trying to stay faithful to God’s call…

I turned seventy.

Nobody warns you how quickly life moves.

You don’t wake up one morning and suddenly feel old. You simply wake up one day and realize you’re no longer the youngest person in the room. The leaders you’re listening to are people you once mentored. The pastors asking for advice are the children of pastors you trained decades ago.

And if you’re not careful, that realization can either discourage you or awaken you.

I believe God intends it to awaken you.

Every Season Has a Calling

We spend most of our lives preparing for the first three quarters.

We prepare for careers.
We prepare for marriage.
We prepare for raising children.
We prepare for building ministries.
We prepare for success.

Very few people prepare for the fourth quarter.

Yet that’s the season where wisdom has finally caught up with experience.

Think about it. You’ve already made most of your biggest mistakes. You’ve survived disappointments that once felt impossible. You’ve watched God provide when you didn’t know how He could. You’ve buried dreams, only to discover God had better ones waiting.

You know things now you couldn’t have known at thirty.

That’s not something to apologize for.

It’s something to steward.

The Enemy’s Biggest Lie

I think one of Satan’s greatest lies to older believers is this:

“Your best years are behind you.”

It sounds believable because your body reminds you every morning that something has changed.

You don’t recover as quickly.

You don’t have the same energy.

You don’t move as fast.

But here’s the question:

When has God ever measured usefulness by speed?

Moses was eighty before he ever stood before Pharaoh.

Caleb was eighty-five when he asked for another mountain.

Anna spent decades faithfully worshiping in the temple before becoming one of the first to recognize the Messiah.

The Bible doesn’t describe these people as winding down.

It describes them as finishing strong.

Don’t Mistake a Different Assignment for a Lesser Assignment

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that changing assignments doesn’t mean losing significance.

For years my identity was wrapped up in what I did.

I was the children’s ministry guy.

The conference speaker.

The coach.

The expert.

Those weren’t bad things.

But somewhere along the way, if I’m honest, I allowed my assignment to become part of my identity.

Then God changed my assignment.

I didn’t lose my calling.

I didn’t lose my purpose.

I simply received a new seat on the bus.

That transition wasn’t easy.

But I’ve discovered something beautiful.

God never removes an assignment without preparing another one.

Sometimes He changes your platform.

Sometimes He changes your audience.

Sometimes He changes your pace.

But He never stops giving purpose to surrendered people.

Your Greatest Contribution May Not Be Something You Build

It may be someone you build.

In our younger years we naturally measure success by what we accomplish.

Buildings, attendance, books, businesses and programs but as we mature, God often shifts our attention from building things to building people.

Influence becomes more important than position.

Legacy becomes more important than recognition.

Faithfulness becomes more important than visibility.

That’s not losing. That’s graduating.

Look Up

One of the reasons the fourth quarter surprises us is because we’ve spent decades looking straight ahead.

The next sermon.

The next mortgage payment.

The next ballgame.

The next ministry event.

The next vacation.

Life keeps us busy enough that we rarely stop to ask where we are on the journey.

Then one day we look up.

Maybe it’s at a reunion. Maybe it’s at a family gathering.

Maybe it’s in the mirror. Maybe it’s while trying to stand up after playing on the floor with your grandkids.

Suddenly you realize you’ve entered a new season.

Don’t panic… Pay attention.

God isn’t announcing the end of your usefulness.

He’s announcing the beginning of a different assignment.

Finish Like a Champion

Football games aren’t won in the first quarter.

Championships are decided in the fourth.

Pressure increases.

Every possession matters.

Every decision matters.

Every minute matters.

The same is true in life.

You don’t need to mourn the first three quarters.

Thank God for them.

Learn from them. Celebrate them.

But don’t live there. God is still writing your story.

Someone is still watching your example.

Someone still needs your wisdom.

Someone still needs your prayers.

Someone still needs your encouragement.

Someone still needs your voice.

The fourth quarter isn’t about hanging on until heaven.

It’s about giving Jesus everything you’ve got until He calls you home.

So if you’ve looked around lately and realized you’re one of the oldest people in the room…

Welcome to the club! You’re right where God knew you’d be.

Now let’s make these years count. That’s the journey I’m currently on and I invite you to come along for the ride.

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I Have a New Book Coming Out…

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It Might Be the Most Important Thing I’ve Ever Written

I’ve written a lot of books over the years. More than fifteen, if you’re counting. I’ve written about children’s ministry, leadership, recruiting volunteers, building teams, and finishing strong. And every single one of them meant something to me.
But this one is different.

“Grandparenting On Purpose: Leaving Faith in the Next Generation” is coming and I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t set out to write it. God kind of backed me into a corner on this one. Because somewhere between becoming a grandfather to Sparrow, Rhythm, and Royal, and watching the world they’re growing up in, I realized something that kept me up at night:
Loving your grandchildren isn’t enough.
I know that sounds harsh. Stay with me.

The grandparents who actually leave a lasting faith legacy in their families aren’t the ones who love their grandchildren the most, they’re the ones who show up with intention. They’re the ones who understand that this season of life isn’t a retirement from purpose. It’s one of the most significant assignments God will ever hand you.
And most of us were never trained for it.

That’s what this book is about. Twelve chapters. Real talk. Practical steps. No fluff, no guilt, just a road map for grandparents who are done drifting and ready to get intentional about the time they have left with the people who matter most.

We’re going to talk about how to partner with your adult children instead of accidentally working against them. We’re going to talk about faith transfer, what it actually looks like to hand something living to the next generation instead of just a set of rules. We’re going to talk about storytelling, technology, boundaries, legacy, and what it means to be present in a world that’s fighting for your grandchildren’s attention every second of every day.

I’ve spent more than fifty years in children’s and family ministry. I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. I’ve coached thousands of leaders and spoken to hundreds of thousands of people. But nothing I’ve ever done hits closer to home than this.
Because Sparrow, Rhythm, and Royal aren’t a ministry project. They’re my grandsons. And everything in this book, I wrote for them first.

If you’re a grandparent or you’re about to be one or you know one who needs a nudge in the right direction, stay tuned. Grandparenting On Purpose is coming, and I believe it’s going to change the way your family looks for generations.

More details soon…

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10 Signs of Unhealthy Leadership

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Everybody talks about great leadership.

Visionary leadership.
Servant leadership.
Transformational leadership.

But sometimes the best way to recognize healthy leadership… is to first recognize unhealthy leadership.

Over my years in ministry, I’ve learned something important:

Bad leadership usually doesn’t happen all at once.
It happens one unhealthy habit at a time.

Most leaders don’t wake up one morning and decide to hurt people.
Instead, pride slowly replaces humility. Pressure replaces peace. Control replaces trust. And over time, the atmosphere around them changes.

The dangerous part is this:
A leader can still be gifted, talented, visionary, funny, spiritual, and successful on the outside… while quietly damaging the people around them on the inside.

So here are 10 signs of unhealthy leadership every leader should watch for—not just in others, but in themselves.

Because if we stay humble and teachable, we can all grow.

1. Everything Becomes About the Leader

Bad leaders crave attention more than they value people.

Every story points back to them.
Every win has their fingerprints on it.
Every conversation somehow circles back to their accomplishments.

Healthy leaders shine the spotlight on others.
Bad leaders need the spotlight to survive.

Good leaders say:
“Look what God did through the team.”

Bad leaders say:
“Look what I built.”

There’s a huge difference between leading people… and needing people to validate your identity.

Healthy leaders don’t need to be the hero in every story.

2. They Refuse Feedback

One of the clearest signs of unhealthy leadership is defensiveness.

Bad leaders:

  • Explain away concerns
  • Dismiss criticism
  • Punish honesty
  • Avoid evaluation
  • Surround themselves with “yes people”

But only the things we evaluate improve.

A leader who cannot receive correction eventually loses credibility.

The older I get, the more thankful I am for people who love me enough to tell me the truth.

Healthy leaders ask questions like:

  • “What am I missing?”
  • “How could I do this better?”
  • “What does this feel like from your side of the table?”

If nobody can challenge you… you’re already in danger.

3. They Create Fear Instead of Trust

People should not feel nervous every time the leader walks into the room.

Bad leaders motivate with intimidation:

  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of embarrassment
  • Fear of disappointing the boss
  • Fear of losing position
  • Fear of speaking honestly

People walk on eggshells around unhealthy leaders.

Nobody relaxes.
Nobody risks.
Nobody shares ideas freely.

Healthy leaders create safety.

That doesn’t mean they lower standards.
It means people know they can be honest, ask questions, fail, grow, and learn without humiliation.

Fear may produce short-term performance.
But trust produces long-term growth.

4. They Don’t Develop Other Leaders

Bad leaders secretly need to stay needed.

So they:

  • Micromanage
  • Control information
  • Avoid delegation
  • Keep decision-making centralized
  • Refuse to release authority

Why?

Because insecure leaders fear replacement.

Healthy leaders understand this truth:

“There is no success without successors.”

Real leadership is not building followers.
It’s building leaders.

Healthy leaders celebrate when people grow stronger, wiser, and more capable.

Bad leaders feel threatened by gifted people around them.

5. They Care More About Image Than Integrity

Bad leadership becomes obsessed with appearances.

Looking spiritual.
Looking successful.
Looking important.
Looking influential.

But eventually image management catches up with character deficiencies.

Healthy leaders understand that who you are when nobody’s watching matters more than platform, applause, or influence.

Your private life eventually introduces itself to your public ministry.

Every time.

Integrity means your life matches your message.

And when leaders sacrifice character to protect image, everybody around them eventually pays the price.

6. They Never Admit They’re Wrong

Bad leaders think apologizing weakens authority.

Actually, the opposite is true.

One sincere apology can build more trust than ten great sermons.

Healthy leaders say things like:

  • “I missed that.”
  • “I handled that poorly.”
  • “Will you forgive me?”
  • “You were right.”
  • “Thank you for telling me.”

Pride protects ego.
Humility protects relationships.

People don’t expect leaders to be perfect.

But they do need leaders to be honest.

7. They Exhaust Everyone Around Them

Some leaders create momentum.
Others create burnout.

Bad leaders constantly live in:

  • Chaos
  • Pressure
  • Unrealistic expectations
  • Constant urgency

Everything becomes “critical.”
Everything becomes an emergency.

And one of the biggest signs of unhealthy leadership is this:

They constantly leak their pressure onto everyone else.

Everybody around them feels the stress.
Feels the frustration.
Feels the tension.

Instead of bringing stability into the room, they bring anxiety into the room.

You can almost feel it when they walk in.

Another sign?

Their first response is almost always “no.”

“No, that won’t work.”
“No, we tried that.”
“No, that’s impossible.”
“No, we can’t afford it.”
“No, not now.”

Negative leaders slowly drain creativity, faith, and energy from the people around them.

Healthy leaders don’t ignore problems—but they also don’t spread panic.

They bring perspective.
Hope.
Faith.
Calm.

Eventually the staff, volunteers, and family members around unhealthy leaders become emotionally exhausted because they’re constantly carrying pressure that was never meant to be theirs.

Healthy leaders understand rhythm.

Jesus did ministry at a sustainable pace.

If your leadership destroys your family, health, joy, or soul… something is wrong.

8. They Use People Instead of Loving People

People are not tools.

Bad leaders view people primarily for what they can produce:

  • Attendance
  • Giving
  • Volunteer hours
  • Platform growth
  • Influence
  • Results

Healthy leaders genuinely care about people beyond their usefulness.

Jesus never treated people like stepping stones.

Ministry is still about people.
Not numbers.
Not branding.
Not building a personal empire.

People matter.

And the moment leaders begin valuing productivity more than people, leadership becomes transactional instead of transformational.

Healthy leaders remember names.
Care about families.
Notice pain.
Celebrate growth.

Because shepherds feed sheep.
They don’t use sheep.

9. They Avoid Difficult Conversations

Bad leaders either explode… or disappear.

They:

  • Gossip instead of confront
  • Delay necessary conversations
  • Let dysfunction spread
  • Hope problems magically solve themselves

And sometimes the worst communication isn’t harsh communication…

It’s no communication.

People don’t know where they stand.
Nobody explains decisions.
Questions go unanswered.
Tension quietly fills the room.

Instead of addressing issues directly, unhealthy leaders use silence as a weapon.

They give the silent treatment.
Withdraw emotionally.
Avoid eye contact.
Stop communicating.

And everybody around them is left trying to interpret moods instead of receiving clarity.

Healthy leaders understand that silence creates confusion.

People can usually handle a hard answer better than uncertainty.

Healthy leaders communicate clearly, kindly, and consistently—even when conversations are uncomfortable.

They speak the truth in love.

Not harshly.
Not cowardly.
Clearly. Kindly. Honestly.

Leadership requires courage.

Avoiding hard conversations today usually creates harder conversations tomorrow.

10. They Stop Growing

The most dangerous leader in the room is the one who thinks they already know everything.

Bad leaders become unteachable.

They stop:

  • Reading
  • Learning
  • Listening
  • Asking questions
  • Seeking counsel
  • Being curious

Growth always slows when curiosity disappears.

One of the reasons coaching matters so much is because everybody has blind spots.

Everybody.

The moment a leader thinks:
“I’ve arrived…”

They’ve already started drifting backward.

Healthy leaders stay hungry to grow.

They know leadership is a process, not a pill.

Time to Evaluate

None of us lead perfectly.

If you’ve been leading for any length of time, you’ve probably seen a little of yourself somewhere in this list. I know I have.

But healthy leadership isn’t about pretending to be flawless.

It’s about staying humble enough to grow.

You don’t have to wait to all of these show up to make adjustments. Any one of these can hurt your effectiveness. It’s always the right time to evaluate.

The good news is this:
Bad leadership habits can change.

When leaders stay teachable, Spirit-led, honest, and people-focused, God can do incredible things through them.

Leadership is not about power.
It’s about stewardship.

And the best leaders never stop asking:

“How can I serve people better?”

“How can I improve?”

“What do I need to adjust first?”

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Having a Good Attitude: The Leadership Advantage You Carry Everywhere

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If there’s one thing you take with you into every meeting, every conversation, every ministry moment, and every room you walk into, it’s your attitude.
And the truth is — people feel it before you ever say a word.
A good attitude isn’t just a personality trait. It’s a leadership decision. It’s a daily choice to show up with faith, hope, and expectation, even when circumstances are less than ideal. Especially then.

Your Attitude Sets the Temperature
Leaders are thermostats, not thermometers. A thermometer only reflects the temperature of the room. A thermostat changes it.
When a leader walks in discouraged, negative, or irritated, the room cools down fast. But when a leader walks in with joy, confidence, and belief, the whole environment shifts. Teams relax. Creativity rises. People lean in.
A good attitude doesn’t ignore problems — it faces them with confidence that God is bigger than the challenge.

Attitude Is Contagious — So Make It Worth Catching
Every team takes on the emotional tone of its leader. If you want a positive culture, it starts with you. Volunteers don’t just follow vision; they follow emotional cues.
People want to serve with leaders who are hopeful, grateful, and steady. A good attitude says:
“We can do this.”
“God is at work.”
“This matters.”
And when you consistently model that mindset, it spreads faster than any strategy you could ever implement.

A Good Attitude Is Built Before It’s Tested
Nobody magically has a great attitude in hard moments. It’s built in the quiet routines of daily life:
Gratitude before you start the day.
Prayer before you react.
Perspective before you speak. (Taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ.)
When challenges come — and they always do — you draw from what you’ve already been practicing. A leader who feeds on worry will produce anxiety. A leader who feeds on faith will produce courage.

Your Attitude Is a Ministry
People are watching more than you think. Your response to inconvenience, pressure, and disappointment preaches a message louder than any sermon.
A steady, joyful attitude tells your team:
“We serve a God who is faithful.”
“We don’t panic — we trust.”
“We don’t quit — we grow.”
That kind of leadership builds resilient teams and healthy ministries.

Choose It Daily
Here’s the secret: a good attitude isn’t automatic. It’s intentional. Some days it feels natural. Other days it feels like work. But the days it feels like work are the days it matters most.
You don’t have to fake positivity. You simply choose faith over fear, gratitude over complaint, and hope over frustration.

And when leaders consistently make that choice, they become the kind of people others want to follow.
Because in the end, skills may open doors, but attitude determines how far you go — and how many people want to go with you.
Your attitude determines your altitude and causes you soar!
You can’t control what happens in life but you can sure choose how you respond. I choose to have a good attitude, how about you?

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Learning from an Event You Didn’t Attend

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I’ve been to more conferences and events in my lifetime than I can count—some life-changing, some nap-inducing. But over the years, I’ve discovered something powerful: you don’t have to attend an event to learn from it.

Now don’t get me wrong—there’s something special about being in the room. The energy, the hallway conversations, the worship, the people you meet over coffee… it all matters. But let’s face it—sometimes you just can’t be everywhere. Budgets, schedules, responsibilities, and life happen.

But here’s the thing: a hungry leader doesn’t stop learning just because they couldn’t make the trip.

1. Learn Through Relationships

One of my favorite parts of ministry events has never been the stage—it’s the people. If you know someone who went to a conference or training, call them up. Buy them a coffee. Ask,

“What was the biggest thing you took away from that event?”

You’ll be amazed how much you can glean from a 15-minute debrief with a friend who took notes and caught the vibe. Leaders share what they’re excited about. You just have to ask.
Remember: association is education.

2. Learn Through Resources

Nearly every event these days leaves a trail of gold behind—slides, recordings, podcasts, recaps, or even social posts. Follow the hashtags. Watch the highlight reels. Read the quotes and summaries.

If you missed a session, grab the speaker’s book or look up their podcast. What you missed in the room can still find its way into your heart and mind if you chase it down.

Hungry leaders don’t wait for someone to feed them—they find the food and fix their own plate.

3. Learn Through Reflection

When I miss an event, I don’t just think about what I missed—I think about why.
Was it an event I should have attended? Or was I supposed to be somewhere else doing what God called me to do right then?

Sometimes missing an event reminds me that God’s not measuring my ministry by how many conferences I attend but by how faithfully I apply what I’ve already learned.

Growth isn’t about collecting content—it’s about living it out.

4. Learn Through Application

Let’s be honest: most folks come home from conferences fired up but don’t actually change much. So if you take one or two solid nuggets from a friend’s notes and actually apply them—you’re already ahead of the game.

I’d rather have one truth in motion than a hundred in a notebook.

Missing an event doesn’t mean missing out.
Every moment is a classroom if you’ve got a learner’s heart.
Ask. Watch. Read. Reflect. Apply.

And remember—leaders who stay teachable keep growing… whether they were in the room or not.

Want more like this? Checkout NextGenLeaderLab.com.

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