I Have a New Book Coming Out…

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It Might Be the Most Important Thing I’ve Ever Written

I’ve written a lot of books over the years. More than fifteen, if you’re counting. I’ve written about children’s ministry, leadership, recruiting volunteers, building teams, and finishing strong. And every single one of them meant something to me.
But this one is different.

“Grandparenting On Purpose: Leaving Faith in the Next Generation” is coming and I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t set out to write it. God kind of backed me into a corner on this one. Because somewhere between becoming a grandfather to Sparrow, Rhythm, and Royal, and watching the world they’re growing up in, I realized something that kept me up at night:
Loving your grandchildren isn’t enough.
I know that sounds harsh. Stay with me.

The grandparents who actually leave a lasting faith legacy in their families aren’t the ones who love their grandchildren the most, they’re the ones who show up with intention. They’re the ones who understand that this season of life isn’t a retirement from purpose. It’s one of the most significant assignments God will ever hand you.
And most of us were never trained for it.

That’s what this book is about. Twelve chapters. Real talk. Practical steps. No fluff, no guilt, just a road map for grandparents who are done drifting and ready to get intentional about the time they have left with the people who matter most.

We’re going to talk about how to partner with your adult children instead of accidentally working against them. We’re going to talk about faith transfer, what it actually looks like to hand something living to the next generation instead of just a set of rules. We’re going to talk about storytelling, technology, boundaries, legacy, and what it means to be present in a world that’s fighting for your grandchildren’s attention every second of every day.

I’ve spent more than fifty years in children’s and family ministry. I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. I’ve coached thousands of leaders and spoken to hundreds of thousands of people. But nothing I’ve ever done hits closer to home than this.
Because Sparrow, Rhythm, and Royal aren’t a ministry project. They’re my grandsons. And everything in this book, I wrote for them first.

If you’re a grandparent or you’re about to be one or you know one who needs a nudge in the right direction, stay tuned. Grandparenting On Purpose is coming, and I believe it’s going to change the way your family looks for generations.

More details soon…

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When Change Chooses You

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Let’s be honest…

We all love talking about change—until it actually shows up uninvited.

There’s a big difference between leading change and being surprised by it.

One feels like vision.

The other feels like whiplash.

And if you’ve been in ministry long enough, you’ve experienced both.

The Myth of the Perfect Bus Ride

We’ve all heard it:

“Get the right people on the bus… and in the right seats.”

Great line. Preaches well. Makes for a strong leadership talk.

But in real life? Seats shift. People grow. Roles change.

And sometimes… the bus takes a turn you didn’t see coming.

Suddenly, what used to fit… doesn’t fit anymore.

And here’s the hard part:

Moving seats is never just strategic—it’s emotional.

It takes humility: 

  • From leaders who have to make tough calls
  • From team members who have to adjust
  • From everyone who has to trust the process when it’s not fully explained

When Communication Isn’t Perfect

Let’s go there for a second.

Sometimes communication is clear. Sometimes it’s not.

Sometimes you get a full explanation.

Sometimes you get… silence.

And that gap? That’s where assumptions grow.

But here’s a leadership truth I’ve learned over 50 years:

You don’t need full information to have full trust.

That doesn’t mean we ignore communication—it matters deeply.

But when it’s lacking, maturity fills the gap.

Immaturity says: “Why didn’t they tell me everything?”

Maturity says: “God, what are YOU doing in me through this?”

God Is Doing a New Thing

Isaiah 43:19 says:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

We love that verse. We quote it. We preach it. We put it on slides.

But we skip the verse right before it:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” (Isaiah 43:18)

Here’s the deal:

You can’t step into a new thing while holding onto an old thing.

God’s new work requires open hands.

And open hands mean… you had to let something go. Something that’s been your identity or that feels comfortable. But that old thing might has become an anchor that’s causing you to be stuck when the Lord saws it’s time to move.

When You Don’t Know Where You’re Going

Let me say something that might free you:

You don’t always need clarity—you need direction.

There are seasons where you won’t have a full map.

No GPS. No step-by-step.

Just a next step.

And in those moments, you go back to what you do know:

  • God is faithful
  • God is leading
  • God is not confused

So what do we do?

We keep our eyes on the Lord.

Not on the changes. Not on the confusion. Not on what we lost.

On Him.

What You Know for Sure

When change hits and clarity is low, here’s what you can anchor to:

  • You may not know where you’re going…
  • But you do know you can’t go back

And here’s the surprising part:

You don’t actually want to go back.

Even if it felt comfortable, even if it felt successful, even if it felt familiar.

Because growth changes you.

And once you’ve grown, yesterday’s version of life won’t fit anymore.

Coaching Moment

Let me talk to you like I would in a coaching call:

This moment you’re in? It’s not punishment. It’s not random.

It’s not the end.

It’s repositioning.

God is adjusting the seats. Shifting the roles. Rewriting the plan.

And yes—it takes humility.

Yes—it can feel unclear.

Yes—it stretches you.

But don’t miss it:

God isn’t just doing a new thing around you—He’s doing a new thing in you.

So take the next step. Trust the process. Keep your eyes on Him.

And remember…

You may not have chosen this change.

But with God, this change can still become your greatest growth.

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Having a Good Attitude: The Leadership Advantage You Carry Everywhere

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If there’s one thing you take with you into every meeting, every conversation, every ministry moment, and every room you walk into, it’s your attitude.
And the truth is — people feel it before you ever say a word.
A good attitude isn’t just a personality trait. It’s a leadership decision. It’s a daily choice to show up with faith, hope, and expectation, even when circumstances are less than ideal. Especially then.

Your Attitude Sets the Temperature
Leaders are thermostats, not thermometers. A thermometer only reflects the temperature of the room. A thermostat changes it.
When a leader walks in discouraged, negative, or irritated, the room cools down fast. But when a leader walks in with joy, confidence, and belief, the whole environment shifts. Teams relax. Creativity rises. People lean in.
A good attitude doesn’t ignore problems — it faces them with confidence that God is bigger than the challenge.

Attitude Is Contagious — So Make It Worth Catching
Every team takes on the emotional tone of its leader. If you want a positive culture, it starts with you. Volunteers don’t just follow vision; they follow emotional cues.
People want to serve with leaders who are hopeful, grateful, and steady. A good attitude says:
“We can do this.”
“God is at work.”
“This matters.”
And when you consistently model that mindset, it spreads faster than any strategy you could ever implement.

A Good Attitude Is Built Before It’s Tested
Nobody magically has a great attitude in hard moments. It’s built in the quiet routines of daily life:
Gratitude before you start the day.
Prayer before you react.
Perspective before you speak. (Taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ.)
When challenges come — and they always do — you draw from what you’ve already been practicing. A leader who feeds on worry will produce anxiety. A leader who feeds on faith will produce courage.

Your Attitude Is a Ministry
People are watching more than you think. Your response to inconvenience, pressure, and disappointment preaches a message louder than any sermon.
A steady, joyful attitude tells your team:
“We serve a God who is faithful.”
“We don’t panic — we trust.”
“We don’t quit — we grow.”
That kind of leadership builds resilient teams and healthy ministries.

Choose It Daily
Here’s the secret: a good attitude isn’t automatic. It’s intentional. Some days it feels natural. Other days it feels like work. But the days it feels like work are the days it matters most.
You don’t have to fake positivity. You simply choose faith over fear, gratitude over complaint, and hope over frustration.

And when leaders consistently make that choice, they become the kind of people others want to follow.
Because in the end, skills may open doors, but attitude determines how far you go — and how many people want to go with you.
Your attitude determines your altitude and causes you soar!
You can’t control what happens in life but you can sure choose how you respond. I choose to have a good attitude, how about you?

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Manners, Ministry, and Managing Yourself

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You’ve probably heard this old saying: “Your life speaks so loud, people can’t hear what you’re saying.” That’s the truth. If you’re in ministry—whether with kids, students, or adults—you don’t get to live however you want. You and I are called to live above reproach. That’s not my idea—that’s Bible.
Paul told Timothy that an overseer should be the kind of person others respect, someone self-controlled, hospitable, able to teach, not hot-headed, not money-hungry, and definitely not someone who can’t even keep their own house in order (1 Timothy 3:2–7). In other words, the way we carry ourselves is just as important as the words we teach.
So let’s get real practical. How do we live this out? How do we keep ministry leaders from being the punchline of a bad joke? Let me give you some “grandfatherly advice” from my years of leading and watching others lead.

1. Mind Your Manners (Yes, Even in Ministry)
Some people think “manners” are just for fancy dinners where you don’t know which fork to use. Nope. Manners are simply polite, well-bred social behavior. And believe me, the body of Christ needs ministers with good manners.
Ethics are the moral principles that guide our behavior.
Protocol is the code of conduct or the way things are done.

Put those together and you’ve got the basics of being a leader worth following. You don’t have to be stiff, but you do have to be respectable. I always tell young leaders: If you wouldn’t act that way in front of your grandma, don’t do it in ministry.

2. Start With Honor

Respect isn’t old-fashioned. It’s Kingdom.
Honor your pastors and leaders. Don’t roll your eyes when they give direction.
Respect your elders. Age is not a disease, it’s wisdom with wrinkles.
Don’t rebuke leaders in public. That’s never gone well in the history of the church.
Say “please” and “thank you.” You’ll be shocked how far basic kindness will take you.
And when it comes to communication—show respect in every medium: in person, on the phone, in emails, or even online. Don’t let your keyboard give you courage your character doesn’t back up. Never forget the tone of a text can easily be misinterpreted and an unanswered text speaks louder than you think.

3. Communication Counts

Want to win points with your leaders? Communicate well.
Voicemail: Keep it short and clear. Ain’t nobody got time for your three-minute ramble.
Meetings: Come prepared. Don’t show up with “I don’t know.” Bring answers—even if they’re multiple choice. Nobody likes essay questions. If your late apologize if you have to miss, let them know why ahead of time.
Being Out of the Office: Always let folks know where you are, who’s covering for you, and how to reach you if the world catches fire. Don’t make people guess.

4. Ethics & Protocol: The Ministry Basics
Here’s where leaders sometimes trip up. Let’s get super practical:
Treat guest ministers like VIPs.
If you ever have to cancel a guest or event, do it with integrity and plenty of notice.
Be wise in dealing with the opposite sex—boundaries keep you safe.
Dress like you represent Jesus, not like you just rolled out of bed.
Keep your office and spaces clean. Messy desk = messy brain.
Don’t “borrow” without asking—that’s called stealing.
Follow the policies. If your church has them, use them.
Don’t steal sheep, staff, or volunteers from other ministries. Trust me, it always backfires.
Be above board in handling money. Pennies matter. Take a picture of the receipt at time of purchase and go and turn it in.
If you ever leave a church, leave in a way that blesses—not burns—people.
And hey—get your pastor or supervisor what he/she actually wants, not what you think he/she should want. (Big difference there.)

5. When in Doubt, Ask
Here’s the simplest advice I can give you: Ask questions.
Don’t assume. Don’t fake it. Just ask. If you’re new, ask staff who’ve been around. Learn your leaders heart. The answer is often just one good question away.
Never tell you are taking off ask if you may take off.

6. Phone & Computer Etiquette

Can we talk about the elephant in the meeting? Your cell phone.
Don’t sit in a meeting scrolling Instagram. That’s just rude.
If you’re waiting on an urgent call, say so at the start. Then only answer if it’s critical.
Long meeting? Take a break, return your texts, only if it’s your spouse or boss and come back engaged.
Don’t search for something “more interesting” than the person you’re talking to. Spoiler: they’ll notice.
God gave us caller ID and voicemail for a reason—use them.

7. Sow What You Want to Reap
Want to be listened to? Start by listening.
Want to be respected? Respect authority.
Want to be promoted? Come prepared and participate well.

You don’t reap what you wish for—you reap what you sow.

At the end of the day, ministry isn’t just about how well you preach, teach, or organize—it’s about how well you carry yourself. Live above reproach. Mind your manners. Honor leaders. Communicate clearly. Respect boundaries. Ask when you’re unsure.
If you’ll sow those seeds, you’ll reap a harvest of influence, trust, and longevity in ministry.
And who knows—you might even make your grandma proud.

Want more articles like this plus all my books, video trainings, resources, a members only podcast plus Live Monthly Coaching Events? Join the NextGenLeaderLab.com.

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Want to Grow Your NextGen Ministry? You Don’t Have to Do It Alone.

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Let’s be real—ministry isn’t getting any easier.

Between recruiting volunteers, leading teams, planning events, managing curriculum, and keeping your own family afloat, it’s no wonder so many NextGen and Family Ministry leaders feel stretched thin.

But here’s the good news:
You don’t have to lead alone.

👋 Welcome to NextGenLeaderLab.com
This isn’t just a resource site. It’s an online coaching community created by ministry leaders for ministry leaders—led by yours truly, Jim Wideman, a pastor and coach who’s been in your shoes for nearly five decades.

At NextGen Leader Lab, you’ll find:

✅ Weekly mentoring articles on real-life leadership issues
✅ Live Q&A sessions where you can ask anything
✅ Downloadable tools you can use today
✅ A private community of leaders who get it
✅ Real-time coaching from someone who’s done it (and is still doing it)

⸻

Why the Lab Works

I’ve spent almost 50 years leading in churches big and small, and coaching hundreds of NextGen leaders. What I’ve learned is this: leaders grow better in community.

The Lab is where:
• New leaders get equipped and encouraged
• Veteran leaders stay sharp and refreshed
• And everyone learns how to lead well and last long

This isn’t about theory—it’s about practical ministry help you can use every week.

Who It’s For:
• Children’s Pastors
• NextGen or Family Ministry Pastors
• Youth Pastors stepping into oversight roles
• New leaders who want to build right
• Veteran leaders who want to finish strong

Let’s Build Something That Lasts—Together

There’s no magic wand in ministry. But there is a better way to grow—and it starts with coaching, community, and a commitment to keep learning.

👉 Click here to join the Lab today »

You’ll get instant access to resources, replays, and a tribe of leaders who’ve got your back.

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