12 Things I Want My Grandkids to Know

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And Maybe They’re Things Your Grandkids Need to Know Too…

I’ve been doing this ministry thing for over half a century.

I’ve preached a lot of sermons. I’ve stood at altars with people on some of the best days of their lives and some of the hardest. I’ve watched churches grow, ministries change, trends come and go, and God do things I could never have planned. 

But the older I get, the more I realize something:

The things that matter most are really pretty simple.

These days I think a lot about my three grandsons—Rhythm, Royal, and Sparrow. And I find myself thinking less about what I want to give them and more about what I want to leave in them.

There’s a big difference.

You can leave your grandkids money. You can leave them property. You can leave them your stuff.

But the greatest legacy isn’t what you leave to someone.

It’s what you leave in them. 

I’m about to release my new book, Grandparenting on Purpose. A big part of the book is about being intentional in passing our faith to our grandchildren so they can pass it to their children and their children’s children. 

Deuteronomy 4:9 tells us not to forget what our eyes have seen but to teach those things to our children and to their children after them.

That verse has become increasingly important to me because I’ve realized something:

I am the keeper of my family’s God-stories.

And so are you.

You can’t pass on what you haven’t identified as important enough to pass on. 

So I started asking myself: If I could make sure my grandkids really understood just a handful of things before my assignment here is finished, what would they be?

I came up with twelve.

Maybe my list will help you make yours.

1. I Want Them to Know God Is Faithful

I’ve followed Jesus long enough to have questions I couldn’t answer.

I’ve experienced disappointments I didn’t understand. I’ve prayed prayers that weren’t answered the way I wanted. I’ve watched doors unexpectedly open and watched others close that I desperately wanted to stay open.

But through all of it, I have never found God to be unfaithful. 

Deuteronomy 7:9 calls Him “the faithful God.”

Lamentations 3 reminds us that His compassion never fails and His mercies are new every morning.

Our grandkids are going to discover that people disappoint you. Plans change. Life surprises you.

I want mine to know where to stand when everything else starts moving.

Plant both feet on the faithfulness of God.

2. I Want Them to Know Jesus Has a Plan for Their Lives

I don’t want my grandkids growing up believing they’re accidents trying to manufacture significance.

I want them to understand they were made on purpose, for a purpose.

Ephesians 2:10 says we’re God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for good works that He prepared in advance for us.

In other words, there are assignments with their names already on them.

One of the guiding Scriptures of my life has been Psalm 37:23: “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.”

I’ve learned God usually doesn’t show us the whole staircase.

He shows us the next step.

Then our job is to take it. 

That’s something I want my next generation to understand.

3. I Want Them to Know Relationships Matter

Who you walk with matters almost as much as where you’re walking.

Proverbs says iron sharpens iron.

So I want my grandkids to choose people who sharpen them instead of people who dull their edge.

And when it comes to dating and marriage, I’ve got one of those Big G sayings I want them to remember:

You will never marry someone you don’t date.

So know before you go.

Don’t date somebody hoping they’ll eventually become the kind of person you should marry.

Watch character. And when God brings the right person into your life, love them intentionally.

After nearly five decades of marriage to Julie, I know this much:

A good marriage isn’t built accidentally. It’s built one decision at a time. 

4. I Want Them to Know They Can Hear God’s Voice

Jesus said in John 10:27, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

I want my grandkids to recognize God’s voice.

They’re growing up in a world noisier than the one I grew up in. Everybody has an opinion. Phones talk to us. Social media talks to us. Friends talk to us. Culture never stops talking.

That’s why the next generation desperately needs to learn to recognize the voice of God above all the others.

Read His Word. Pray. Listen.

And every once in a while, turn everything else off.

Sometimes hearing God starts with getting quiet. 

5. I Want Them Planted in God’s House

Notice I didn’t say I want them to attend church.

I want them planted.

Psalm 92:13 says those who are planted in the house of the Lord will flourish.

I’ve watched people treat church like a gas station. They pull in when they’re running on empty, get enough to keep going, and disappear until the warning light comes back on.

I don’t want that for my grandkids.

I want them to find a Bible-believing, Spirit-Filled church. Show up. Serve. Give. Build relationships. Let people know them. Let people pray for them. And don’t run every time something happens they don’t like. 

Here’s the picture I want them to remember:

A potted plant can be moved whenever the weather changes. A planted tree develops roots. Be a tree. 

6. I Want Them to Know Our Family’s God-Story

Every family has stories.

Tell the funny ones. Tell the vacation stories. Tell the stories everybody has heard a hundred times.

But please don’t forget the God-stories.

Psalm 78:4 says we’re to tell the next generation about the Lord’s power and the things He has done.

Tell them how God provided. Tell them how He called you. Tell them about the doors He opened.

Tell them how He protected you. Tell them about answered prayers.

And especially tell them about the hard seasons God brought you through. 

Psalm 145:4 says, “One generation commends your works to another.”

Grandparents, don’t let the God-stories stop with you.

7. I Want Them to Have Scriptures They Can Build Their Lives On

The Bible isn’t decoration for a coffee table.

It’s ammunition for life.

Psalm 37:23–24 has carried me through a lot of seasons. So has Philippians 4:13.

I want my grandkids to find their verses. Memorize them. Write them down.

Underline them. Put them somewhere they’ll see them.

Because one day life will get dark, and they won’t need a verse they once saw on social media.

They’ll need the Word of God that’s already inside them. 

8. I Want Them to Know How to Talk to God

Prayer doesn’t have to sound religious. God isn’t grading your vocabulary.

He’s interested in you. Talk to God when you’re happy.

Talk to Him when you’re scared. Talk to Him when you’re confused.

Talk to Him when you’re angry. Talk to Him when you’ve messed up.

Talk to Him when something wonderful happens.

First Thessalonians 5:17 simply says, “Pray continually.”

Here’s what I want my grandkids to understand:

Prayer isn’t an event you attend. It’s a relationship you live.

And since conversations work both ways, sometimes quit talking and listen. 

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9. I Want Them to Know How to Work

Nobody owes you a living. Colossians 3:23 says whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly as unto the Lord.

That’s a principle I want passed down.

Show up. Be on time. Keep your word. Finish what you start.

Do more than you’re asked when you can.

If you’re sweeping a floor, sweep it well. If you’re running a company, run it with excellence. And if you’re serving God, don’t give Him your leftovers. 

Work like your name is on it—because it is.

10. I Want Them to Understand Honor and Authority

This one won’t get as many likes on social media, but it can take a young person a long way.

Learn to honor.

Ephesians 6 connects honoring your father and mother with a promise: “that it may go well with you.”

I’ve always paid attention to that. Honor has a promise attached to it.

And the principle of honor doesn’t disappear when you turn eighteen.

There will be teachers, coaches, bosses, pastors, and leaders. You won’t always agree with them, and you don’t have to.

But you can still learn honor.  After watching leaders for more than fifty years, I’ve noticed something:

People who learn to carry honor well usually learn to carry authority well. 

11. I Want Them to Know Family Is Worth Fighting For

The older I get, the more important family becomes.

Not less. More.

This world gives us a thousand things to chase—careers, money, recognition, success, experiences.

But here’s something I want my grandkids to remember:

Don’t win everywhere else and lose at home.

Joshua said, “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

That’s not just something to put on a sign in your kitchen.

It’s a decision. As well as a daily choice.

Be the person who brings family together. Call. Show up. Forgive quickly. Say you’re sorry. Celebrate birthdays. Make memories. Take pictures. Tell stories. Eat meals together.

And when family gets complicated—and it will—don’t throw people away too quickly. 

Family isn’t something you squeeze into your schedule. Family is part of your assignment.

12. I Want Them to Be Able to Point to My Life and Say, “Big G Trusted God”

This might be the most important one.

I don’t care if my grandkids remember every book I wrote.

I don’t care if they remember where I spoke, every church I served, or every ministry idea I ever had.

But I desperately want them to remember this:

Big G trusted God.

Hebrews 13:7 tells us to consider the outcome of the lives of those who taught us God’s Word and to imitate their faith.

That’s the legacy I want. Not fame. Faith. 

I want my grandkids to remember times when things didn’t look good, but Big G kept trusting.

When the answer didn’t come quickly, he kept believing.

When life got hard, he didn’t quit. Paul said near the end of his life:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” — 2 Timothy 4:7

That’s how I want to finish. Not perfect. Faithful. 

And isn’t that really what grandparenting on purpose is all about?

We’re not trying to make little copies of ourselves.

We’re trying to leave behind men and women who know Jesus, trust God, love their families, serve His Church, know His Word, work hard, honor others, and have their own God-stories to tell.

Because someday our grandchildren will be the grandparents.

And they’ll sit around a table with another generation looking up at them.

What will they tell them? Hopefully they’ll say:

“Let me tell you about something God did for our family a long time ago.”

And the story will keep going.

That’s how faith travels from generation to generation. 

So here’s my challenge to every grandparent reading this:

What’s on your list?

What are the things you know now that you don’t want your grandchildren to have to learn the hard way?

What are the God-stories only you can tell?

What Scriptures carried you? What prayers did God answer?

What do you want planted in them while you still have the opportunity to plant it?

Don’t just think about it.

Write it down. Tell the stories. Have the conversations. Be intentional.

Because your grandchildren don’t just need what you’ve accumulated.

They need what you’ve learned.

But it’s up to you to be intentional to pass it on!

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I Have a New Book Coming Out…

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It Might Be the Most Important Thing I’ve Ever Written

I’ve written a lot of books over the years. More than fifteen, if you’re counting. I’ve written about children’s ministry, leadership, recruiting volunteers, building teams, and finishing strong. And every single one of them meant something to me.
But this one is different.

“Grandparenting On Purpose: Leaving Faith in the Next Generation” is coming and I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t set out to write it. God kind of backed me into a corner on this one. Because somewhere between becoming a grandfather to Sparrow, Rhythm, and Royal, and watching the world they’re growing up in, I realized something that kept me up at night:
Loving your grandchildren isn’t enough.
I know that sounds harsh. Stay with me.

The grandparents who actually leave a lasting faith legacy in their families aren’t the ones who love their grandchildren the most, they’re the ones who show up with intention. They’re the ones who understand that this season of life isn’t a retirement from purpose. It’s one of the most significant assignments God will ever hand you.
And most of us were never trained for it.

That’s what this book is about. Twelve chapters. Real talk. Practical steps. No fluff, no guilt, just a road map for grandparents who are done drifting and ready to get intentional about the time they have left with the people who matter most.

We’re going to talk about how to partner with your adult children instead of accidentally working against them. We’re going to talk about faith transfer, what it actually looks like to hand something living to the next generation instead of just a set of rules. We’re going to talk about storytelling, technology, boundaries, legacy, and what it means to be present in a world that’s fighting for your grandchildren’s attention every second of every day.

I’ve spent more than fifty years in children’s and family ministry. I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. I’ve coached thousands of leaders and spoken to hundreds of thousands of people. But nothing I’ve ever done hits closer to home than this.
Because Sparrow, Rhythm, and Royal aren’t a ministry project. They’re my grandsons. And everything in this book, I wrote for them first.

If you’re a grandparent or you’re about to be one or you know one who needs a nudge in the right direction, stay tuned. Grandparenting On Purpose is coming, and I believe it’s going to change the way your family looks for generations.

More details soon…

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When Change Chooses You

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Let’s be honest…

We all love talking about change—until it actually shows up uninvited.

There’s a big difference between leading change and being surprised by it.

One feels like vision.

The other feels like whiplash.

And if you’ve been in ministry long enough, you’ve experienced both.

The Myth of the Perfect Bus Ride

We’ve all heard it:

“Get the right people on the bus… and in the right seats.”

Great line. Preaches well. Makes for a strong leadership talk.

But in real life? Seats shift. People grow. Roles change.

And sometimes… the bus takes a turn you didn’t see coming.

Suddenly, what used to fit… doesn’t fit anymore.

And here’s the hard part:

Moving seats is never just strategic—it’s emotional.

It takes humility: 

  • From leaders who have to make tough calls
  • From team members who have to adjust
  • From everyone who has to trust the process when it’s not fully explained

When Communication Isn’t Perfect

Let’s go there for a second.

Sometimes communication is clear. Sometimes it’s not.

Sometimes you get a full explanation.

Sometimes you get… silence.

And that gap? That’s where assumptions grow.

But here’s a leadership truth I’ve learned over 50 years:

You don’t need full information to have full trust.

That doesn’t mean we ignore communication—it matters deeply.

But when it’s lacking, maturity fills the gap.

Immaturity says: “Why didn’t they tell me everything?”

Maturity says: “God, what are YOU doing in me through this?”

God Is Doing a New Thing

Isaiah 43:19 says:

“See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?”

We love that verse. We quote it. We preach it. We put it on slides.

But we skip the verse right before it:

“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past.” (Isaiah 43:18)

Here’s the deal:

You can’t step into a new thing while holding onto an old thing.

God’s new work requires open hands.

And open hands mean… you had to let something go. Something that’s been your identity or that feels comfortable. But that old thing might has become an anchor that’s causing you to be stuck when the Lord saws it’s time to move.

When You Don’t Know Where You’re Going

Let me say something that might free you:

You don’t always need clarity—you need direction.

There are seasons where you won’t have a full map.

No GPS. No step-by-step.

Just a next step.

And in those moments, you go back to what you do know:

  • God is faithful
  • God is leading
  • God is not confused

So what do we do?

We keep our eyes on the Lord.

Not on the changes. Not on the confusion. Not on what we lost.

On Him.

What You Know for Sure

When change hits and clarity is low, here’s what you can anchor to:

  • You may not know where you’re going…
  • But you do know you can’t go back

And here’s the surprising part:

You don’t actually want to go back.

Even if it felt comfortable, even if it felt successful, even if it felt familiar.

Because growth changes you.

And once you’ve grown, yesterday’s version of life won’t fit anymore.

Coaching Moment

Let me talk to you like I would in a coaching call:

This moment you’re in? It’s not punishment. It’s not random.

It’s not the end.

It’s repositioning.

God is adjusting the seats. Shifting the roles. Rewriting the plan.

And yes—it takes humility.

Yes—it can feel unclear.

Yes—it stretches you.

But don’t miss it:

God isn’t just doing a new thing around you—He’s doing a new thing in you.

So take the next step. Trust the process. Keep your eyes on Him.

And remember…

You may not have chosen this change.

But with God, this change can still become your greatest growth.

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Having a Good Attitude: The Leadership Advantage You Carry Everywhere

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If there’s one thing you take with you into every meeting, every conversation, every ministry moment, and every room you walk into, it’s your attitude.
And the truth is — people feel it before you ever say a word.
A good attitude isn’t just a personality trait. It’s a leadership decision. It’s a daily choice to show up with faith, hope, and expectation, even when circumstances are less than ideal. Especially then.

Your Attitude Sets the Temperature
Leaders are thermostats, not thermometers. A thermometer only reflects the temperature of the room. A thermostat changes it.
When a leader walks in discouraged, negative, or irritated, the room cools down fast. But when a leader walks in with joy, confidence, and belief, the whole environment shifts. Teams relax. Creativity rises. People lean in.
A good attitude doesn’t ignore problems — it faces them with confidence that God is bigger than the challenge.

Attitude Is Contagious — So Make It Worth Catching
Every team takes on the emotional tone of its leader. If you want a positive culture, it starts with you. Volunteers don’t just follow vision; they follow emotional cues.
People want to serve with leaders who are hopeful, grateful, and steady. A good attitude says:
“We can do this.”
“God is at work.”
“This matters.”
And when you consistently model that mindset, it spreads faster than any strategy you could ever implement.

A Good Attitude Is Built Before It’s Tested
Nobody magically has a great attitude in hard moments. It’s built in the quiet routines of daily life:
Gratitude before you start the day.
Prayer before you react.
Perspective before you speak. (Taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ.)
When challenges come — and they always do — you draw from what you’ve already been practicing. A leader who feeds on worry will produce anxiety. A leader who feeds on faith will produce courage.

Your Attitude Is a Ministry
People are watching more than you think. Your response to inconvenience, pressure, and disappointment preaches a message louder than any sermon.
A steady, joyful attitude tells your team:
“We serve a God who is faithful.”
“We don’t panic — we trust.”
“We don’t quit — we grow.”
That kind of leadership builds resilient teams and healthy ministries.

Choose It Daily
Here’s the secret: a good attitude isn’t automatic. It’s intentional. Some days it feels natural. Other days it feels like work. But the days it feels like work are the days it matters most.
You don’t have to fake positivity. You simply choose faith over fear, gratitude over complaint, and hope over frustration.

And when leaders consistently make that choice, they become the kind of people others want to follow.
Because in the end, skills may open doors, but attitude determines how far you go — and how many people want to go with you.
Your attitude determines your altitude and causes you soar!
You can’t control what happens in life but you can sure choose how you respond. I choose to have a good attitude, how about you?

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Manners, Ministry, and Managing Yourself

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You’ve probably heard this old saying: “Your life speaks so loud, people can’t hear what you’re saying.” That’s the truth. If you’re in ministry—whether with kids, students, or adults—you don’t get to live however you want. You and I are called to live above reproach. That’s not my idea—that’s Bible.
Paul told Timothy that an overseer should be the kind of person others respect, someone self-controlled, hospitable, able to teach, not hot-headed, not money-hungry, and definitely not someone who can’t even keep their own house in order (1 Timothy 3:2–7). In other words, the way we carry ourselves is just as important as the words we teach.
So let’s get real practical. How do we live this out? How do we keep ministry leaders from being the punchline of a bad joke? Let me give you some “grandfatherly advice” from my years of leading and watching others lead.

1. Mind Your Manners (Yes, Even in Ministry)
Some people think “manners” are just for fancy dinners where you don’t know which fork to use. Nope. Manners are simply polite, well-bred social behavior. And believe me, the body of Christ needs ministers with good manners.
Ethics are the moral principles that guide our behavior.
Protocol is the code of conduct or the way things are done.

Put those together and you’ve got the basics of being a leader worth following. You don’t have to be stiff, but you do have to be respectable. I always tell young leaders: If you wouldn’t act that way in front of your grandma, don’t do it in ministry.

2. Start With Honor

Respect isn’t old-fashioned. It’s Kingdom.
Honor your pastors and leaders. Don’t roll your eyes when they give direction.
Respect your elders. Age is not a disease, it’s wisdom with wrinkles.
Don’t rebuke leaders in public. That’s never gone well in the history of the church.
Say “please” and “thank you.” You’ll be shocked how far basic kindness will take you.
And when it comes to communication—show respect in every medium: in person, on the phone, in emails, or even online. Don’t let your keyboard give you courage your character doesn’t back up. Never forget the tone of a text can easily be misinterpreted and an unanswered text speaks louder than you think.

3. Communication Counts

Want to win points with your leaders? Communicate well.
Voicemail: Keep it short and clear. Ain’t nobody got time for your three-minute ramble.
Meetings: Come prepared. Don’t show up with “I don’t know.” Bring answers—even if they’re multiple choice. Nobody likes essay questions. If your late apologize if you have to miss, let them know why ahead of time.
Being Out of the Office: Always let folks know where you are, who’s covering for you, and how to reach you if the world catches fire. Don’t make people guess.

4. Ethics & Protocol: The Ministry Basics
Here’s where leaders sometimes trip up. Let’s get super practical:
Treat guest ministers like VIPs.
If you ever have to cancel a guest or event, do it with integrity and plenty of notice.
Be wise in dealing with the opposite sex—boundaries keep you safe.
Dress like you represent Jesus, not like you just rolled out of bed.
Keep your office and spaces clean. Messy desk = messy brain.
Don’t “borrow” without asking—that’s called stealing.
Follow the policies. If your church has them, use them.
Don’t steal sheep, staff, or volunteers from other ministries. Trust me, it always backfires.
Be above board in handling money. Pennies matter. Take a picture of the receipt at time of purchase and go and turn it in.
If you ever leave a church, leave in a way that blesses—not burns—people.
And hey—get your pastor or supervisor what he/she actually wants, not what you think he/she should want. (Big difference there.)

5. When in Doubt, Ask
Here’s the simplest advice I can give you: Ask questions.
Don’t assume. Don’t fake it. Just ask. If you’re new, ask staff who’ve been around. Learn your leaders heart. The answer is often just one good question away.
Never tell you are taking off ask if you may take off.

6. Phone & Computer Etiquette

Can we talk about the elephant in the meeting? Your cell phone.
Don’t sit in a meeting scrolling Instagram. That’s just rude.
If you’re waiting on an urgent call, say so at the start. Then only answer if it’s critical.
Long meeting? Take a break, return your texts, only if it’s your spouse or boss and come back engaged.
Don’t search for something “more interesting” than the person you’re talking to. Spoiler: they’ll notice.
God gave us caller ID and voicemail for a reason—use them.

7. Sow What You Want to Reap
Want to be listened to? Start by listening.
Want to be respected? Respect authority.
Want to be promoted? Come prepared and participate well.

You don’t reap what you wish for—you reap what you sow.

At the end of the day, ministry isn’t just about how well you preach, teach, or organize—it’s about how well you carry yourself. Live above reproach. Mind your manners. Honor leaders. Communicate clearly. Respect boundaries. Ask when you’re unsure.
If you’ll sow those seeds, you’ll reap a harvest of influence, trust, and longevity in ministry.
And who knows—you might even make your grandma proud.

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