12 Things I Want My Grandkids to Know

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And Maybe They’re Things Your Grandkids Need to Know Too…

I’ve been doing this ministry thing for over half a century.

I’ve preached a lot of sermons. I’ve stood at altars with people on some of the best days of their lives and some of the hardest. I’ve watched churches grow, ministries change, trends come and go, and God do things I could never have planned. 

But the older I get, the more I realize something:

The things that matter most are really pretty simple.

These days I think a lot about my three grandsons—Rhythm, Royal, and Sparrow. And I find myself thinking less about what I want to give them and more about what I want to leave in them.

There’s a big difference.

You can leave your grandkids money. You can leave them property. You can leave them your stuff.

But the greatest legacy isn’t what you leave to someone.

It’s what you leave in them. 

I’m about to release my new book, Grandparenting on Purpose. A big part of the book is about being intentional in passing our faith to our grandchildren so they can pass it to their children and their children’s children. 

Deuteronomy 4:9 tells us not to forget what our eyes have seen but to teach those things to our children and to their children after them.

That verse has become increasingly important to me because I’ve realized something:

I am the keeper of my family’s God-stories.

And so are you.

You can’t pass on what you haven’t identified as important enough to pass on. 

So I started asking myself: If I could make sure my grandkids really understood just a handful of things before my assignment here is finished, what would they be?

I came up with twelve.

Maybe my list will help you make yours.

1. I Want Them to Know God Is Faithful

I’ve followed Jesus long enough to have questions I couldn’t answer.

I’ve experienced disappointments I didn’t understand. I’ve prayed prayers that weren’t answered the way I wanted. I’ve watched doors unexpectedly open and watched others close that I desperately wanted to stay open.

But through all of it, I have never found God to be unfaithful. 

Deuteronomy 7:9 calls Him “the faithful God.”

Lamentations 3 reminds us that His compassion never fails and His mercies are new every morning.

Our grandkids are going to discover that people disappoint you. Plans change. Life surprises you.

I want mine to know where to stand when everything else starts moving.

Plant both feet on the faithfulness of God.

2. I Want Them to Know Jesus Has a Plan for Their Lives

I don’t want my grandkids growing up believing they’re accidents trying to manufacture significance.

I want them to understand they were made on purpose, for a purpose.

Ephesians 2:10 says we’re God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus for good works that He prepared in advance for us.

In other words, there are assignments with their names already on them.

One of the guiding Scriptures of my life has been Psalm 37:23: “The Lord makes firm the steps of the one who delights in him.”

I’ve learned God usually doesn’t show us the whole staircase.

He shows us the next step.

Then our job is to take it. 

That’s something I want my next generation to understand.

3. I Want Them to Know Relationships Matter

Who you walk with matters almost as much as where you’re walking.

Proverbs says iron sharpens iron.

So I want my grandkids to choose people who sharpen them instead of people who dull their edge.

And when it comes to dating and marriage, I’ve got one of those Big G sayings I want them to remember:

You will never marry someone you don’t date.

So know before you go.

Don’t date somebody hoping they’ll eventually become the kind of person you should marry.

Watch character. And when God brings the right person into your life, love them intentionally.

After nearly five decades of marriage to Julie, I know this much:

A good marriage isn’t built accidentally. It’s built one decision at a time. 

4. I Want Them to Know They Can Hear God’s Voice

Jesus said in John 10:27, “My sheep listen to my voice; I know them, and they follow me.”

I want my grandkids to recognize God’s voice.

They’re growing up in a world noisier than the one I grew up in. Everybody has an opinion. Phones talk to us. Social media talks to us. Friends talk to us. Culture never stops talking.

That’s why the next generation desperately needs to learn to recognize the voice of God above all the others.

Read His Word. Pray. Listen.

And every once in a while, turn everything else off.

Sometimes hearing God starts with getting quiet. 

5. I Want Them Planted in God’s House

Notice I didn’t say I want them to attend church.

I want them planted.

Psalm 92:13 says those who are planted in the house of the Lord will flourish.

I’ve watched people treat church like a gas station. They pull in when they’re running on empty, get enough to keep going, and disappear until the warning light comes back on.

I don’t want that for my grandkids.

I want them to find a Bible-believing, Spirit-Filled church. Show up. Serve. Give. Build relationships. Let people know them. Let people pray for them. And don’t run every time something happens they don’t like. 

Here’s the picture I want them to remember:

A potted plant can be moved whenever the weather changes. A planted tree develops roots. Be a tree. 

6. I Want Them to Know Our Family’s God-Story

Every family has stories.

Tell the funny ones. Tell the vacation stories. Tell the stories everybody has heard a hundred times.

But please don’t forget the God-stories.

Psalm 78:4 says we’re to tell the next generation about the Lord’s power and the things He has done.

Tell them how God provided. Tell them how He called you. Tell them about the doors He opened.

Tell them how He protected you. Tell them about answered prayers.

And especially tell them about the hard seasons God brought you through. 

Psalm 145:4 says, “One generation commends your works to another.”

Grandparents, don’t let the God-stories stop with you.

7. I Want Them to Have Scriptures They Can Build Their Lives On

The Bible isn’t decoration for a coffee table.

It’s ammunition for life.

Psalm 37:23–24 has carried me through a lot of seasons. So has Philippians 4:13.

I want my grandkids to find their verses. Memorize them. Write them down.

Underline them. Put them somewhere they’ll see them.

Because one day life will get dark, and they won’t need a verse they once saw on social media.

They’ll need the Word of God that’s already inside them. 

8. I Want Them to Know How to Talk to God

Prayer doesn’t have to sound religious. God isn’t grading your vocabulary.

He’s interested in you. Talk to God when you’re happy.

Talk to Him when you’re scared. Talk to Him when you’re confused.

Talk to Him when you’re angry. Talk to Him when you’ve messed up.

Talk to Him when something wonderful happens.

First Thessalonians 5:17 simply says, “Pray continually.”

Here’s what I want my grandkids to understand:

Prayer isn’t an event you attend. It’s a relationship you live.

And since conversations work both ways, sometimes quit talking and listen. 

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9. I Want Them to Know How to Work

Nobody owes you a living. Colossians 3:23 says whatever you do, do it wholeheartedly as unto the Lord.

That’s a principle I want passed down.

Show up. Be on time. Keep your word. Finish what you start.

Do more than you’re asked when you can.

If you’re sweeping a floor, sweep it well. If you’re running a company, run it with excellence. And if you’re serving God, don’t give Him your leftovers. 

Work like your name is on it—because it is.

10. I Want Them to Understand Honor and Authority

This one won’t get as many likes on social media, but it can take a young person a long way.

Learn to honor.

Ephesians 6 connects honoring your father and mother with a promise: “that it may go well with you.”

I’ve always paid attention to that. Honor has a promise attached to it.

And the principle of honor doesn’t disappear when you turn eighteen.

There will be teachers, coaches, bosses, pastors, and leaders. You won’t always agree with them, and you don’t have to.

But you can still learn honor.  After watching leaders for more than fifty years, I’ve noticed something:

People who learn to carry honor well usually learn to carry authority well. 

11. I Want Them to Know Family Is Worth Fighting For

The older I get, the more important family becomes.

Not less. More.

This world gives us a thousand things to chase—careers, money, recognition, success, experiences.

But here’s something I want my grandkids to remember:

Don’t win everywhere else and lose at home.

Joshua said, “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.”

That’s not just something to put on a sign in your kitchen.

It’s a decision. As well as a daily choice.

Be the person who brings family together. Call. Show up. Forgive quickly. Say you’re sorry. Celebrate birthdays. Make memories. Take pictures. Tell stories. Eat meals together.

And when family gets complicated—and it will—don’t throw people away too quickly. 

Family isn’t something you squeeze into your schedule. Family is part of your assignment.

12. I Want Them to Be Able to Point to My Life and Say, “Big G Trusted God”

This might be the most important one.

I don’t care if my grandkids remember every book I wrote.

I don’t care if they remember where I spoke, every church I served, or every ministry idea I ever had.

But I desperately want them to remember this:

Big G trusted God.

Hebrews 13:7 tells us to consider the outcome of the lives of those who taught us God’s Word and to imitate their faith.

That’s the legacy I want. Not fame. Faith. 

I want my grandkids to remember times when things didn’t look good, but Big G kept trusting.

When the answer didn’t come quickly, he kept believing.

When life got hard, he didn’t quit. Paul said near the end of his life:

“I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” — 2 Timothy 4:7

That’s how I want to finish. Not perfect. Faithful. 

And isn’t that really what grandparenting on purpose is all about?

We’re not trying to make little copies of ourselves.

We’re trying to leave behind men and women who know Jesus, trust God, love their families, serve His Church, know His Word, work hard, honor others, and have their own God-stories to tell.

Because someday our grandchildren will be the grandparents.

And they’ll sit around a table with another generation looking up at them.

What will they tell them? Hopefully they’ll say:

“Let me tell you about something God did for our family a long time ago.”

And the story will keep going.

That’s how faith travels from generation to generation. 

So here’s my challenge to every grandparent reading this:

What’s on your list?

What are the things you know now that you don’t want your grandchildren to have to learn the hard way?

What are the God-stories only you can tell?

What Scriptures carried you? What prayers did God answer?

What do you want planted in them while you still have the opportunity to plant it?

Don’t just think about it.

Write it down. Tell the stories. Have the conversations. Be intentional.

Because your grandchildren don’t just need what you’ve accumulated.

They need what you’ve learned.

But it’s up to you to be intentional to pass it on!

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Welcome To The Fourth Quarter

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I don’t know exactly when it happened.

I remember being twenty. I remember thinking fifty sounded ancient. I remember believing there would always be another opportunity, another ministry, another conference, another dream to chase.

Then I blinked.

Somewhere between raising daughters, preaching thousands of sermons, writing books, coaching leaders, building strong NextGen Ministries, speaking in conferences, sitting in airport terminals, and trying to stay faithful to God’s call…

I turned seventy.

Nobody warns you how quickly life moves.

You don’t wake up one morning and suddenly feel old. You simply wake up one day and realize you’re no longer the youngest person in the room. The leaders you’re listening to are people you once mentored. The pastors asking for advice are the children of pastors you trained decades ago.

And if you’re not careful, that realization can either discourage you or awaken you.

I believe God intends it to awaken you.

Every Season Has a Calling

We spend most of our lives preparing for the first three quarters.

We prepare for careers.
We prepare for marriage.
We prepare for raising children.
We prepare for building ministries.
We prepare for success.

Very few people prepare for the fourth quarter.

Yet that’s the season where wisdom has finally caught up with experience.

Think about it. You’ve already made most of your biggest mistakes. You’ve survived disappointments that once felt impossible. You’ve watched God provide when you didn’t know how He could. You’ve buried dreams, only to discover God had better ones waiting.

You know things now you couldn’t have known at thirty.

That’s not something to apologize for.

It’s something to steward.

The Enemy’s Biggest Lie

I think one of Satan’s greatest lies to older believers is this:

“Your best years are behind you.”

It sounds believable because your body reminds you every morning that something has changed.

You don’t recover as quickly.

You don’t have the same energy.

You don’t move as fast.

But here’s the question:

When has God ever measured usefulness by speed?

Moses was eighty before he ever stood before Pharaoh.

Caleb was eighty-five when he asked for another mountain.

Anna spent decades faithfully worshiping in the temple before becoming one of the first to recognize the Messiah.

The Bible doesn’t describe these people as winding down.

It describes them as finishing strong.

Don’t Mistake a Different Assignment for a Lesser Assignment

One of the hardest lessons I’ve had to learn is that changing assignments doesn’t mean losing significance.

For years my identity was wrapped up in what I did.

I was the children’s ministry guy.

The conference speaker.

The coach.

The expert.

Those weren’t bad things.

But somewhere along the way, if I’m honest, I allowed my assignment to become part of my identity.

Then God changed my assignment.

I didn’t lose my calling.

I didn’t lose my purpose.

I simply received a new seat on the bus.

That transition wasn’t easy.

But I’ve discovered something beautiful.

God never removes an assignment without preparing another one.

Sometimes He changes your platform.

Sometimes He changes your audience.

Sometimes He changes your pace.

But He never stops giving purpose to surrendered people.

Your Greatest Contribution May Not Be Something You Build

It may be someone you build.

In our younger years we naturally measure success by what we accomplish.

Buildings, attendance, books, businesses and programs but as we mature, God often shifts our attention from building things to building people.

Influence becomes more important than position.

Legacy becomes more important than recognition.

Faithfulness becomes more important than visibility.

That’s not losing. That’s graduating.

Look Up

One of the reasons the fourth quarter surprises us is because we’ve spent decades looking straight ahead.

The next sermon.

The next mortgage payment.

The next ballgame.

The next ministry event.

The next vacation.

Life keeps us busy enough that we rarely stop to ask where we are on the journey.

Then one day we look up.

Maybe it’s at a reunion. Maybe it’s at a family gathering.

Maybe it’s in the mirror. Maybe it’s while trying to stand up after playing on the floor with your grandkids.

Suddenly you realize you’ve entered a new season.

Don’t panic… Pay attention.

God isn’t announcing the end of your usefulness.

He’s announcing the beginning of a different assignment.

Finish Like a Champion

Football games aren’t won in the first quarter.

Championships are decided in the fourth.

Pressure increases.

Every possession matters.

Every decision matters.

Every minute matters.

The same is true in life.

You don’t need to mourn the first three quarters.

Thank God for them.

Learn from them. Celebrate them.

But don’t live there. God is still writing your story.

Someone is still watching your example.

Someone still needs your wisdom.

Someone still needs your prayers.

Someone still needs your encouragement.

Someone still needs your voice.

The fourth quarter isn’t about hanging on until heaven.

It’s about giving Jesus everything you’ve got until He calls you home.

So if you’ve looked around lately and realized you’re one of the oldest people in the room…

Welcome to the club! You’re right where God knew you’d be.

Now let’s make these years count. That’s the journey I’m currently on and I invite you to come along for the ride.

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My New Grandparenting Book is Here

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It Might Be the Most Important Thing I’ve Ever Written

I’ve written a lot of books over the years. More than fifteen, if you’re counting. I’ve written about children’s ministry, leadership, recruiting volunteers, building teams, and finishing strong. And every single one of them meant something to me.
But this one is different.

“Grandparenting On Purpose: Leaving Faith in the Next Generation” is here  and I’ll be honest with you, I didn’t set out to write it. God kind of backed me into a corner on this one. Because somewhere between becoming a grandfather to Sparrow, Rhythm, and Royal, and watching the world they’re growing up in, I realized something that kept me up at night:
Loving your grandchildren isn’t enough.
I know that sounds harsh. Stay with me.

The grandparents who actually leave a lasting faith legacy in their families aren’t the ones who love their grandchildren the most, they’re the ones who show up with intention. They’re the ones who understand that this season of life isn’t a retirement from purpose. It’s one of the most significant assignments God will ever hand you.
And most of us were never trained for it.

That’s what this book is about. Twelve chapters. Real talk. Practical steps. No fluff, no guilt, just a road map for grandparents who are done drifting and ready to get intentional about the time they have left with the people who matter most.

This book talks about how to partner with your adult children instead of accidentally working against them. I talk about faith transfer, what it actually looks like to hand something living to the next generation instead of just a set of rules. I also talk about storytelling, technology, boundaries, legacy, and what it means to be present in a world that’s fighting for your grandchildren’s attention every second of every day.

I’ve spent more than fifty years in children’s and family ministry. I’ve seen what works and what doesn’t. I’ve coached thousands of leaders and spoken to hundreds of thousands of people. But nothing I’ve ever done hits closer to home than this.
Because Sparrow, Rhythm, and Royal aren’t a ministry project. They’re my grandsons. And everything in this book, I wrote for them first.

If you’re a grandparent or you’re about to be one or you know one who needs a nudge in the right direction, this book is for you. Grandparenting On Purpose is here, and I believe it’s going to change the way your family looks for generations.

You can order it here or on Amazon. The Audio Book will also be available soon on Audible.

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