Tag Archive for: Children’s Ministry

Manners, Ministry, and Managing Yourself

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You’ve probably heard this old saying: “Your life speaks so loud, people can’t hear what you’re saying.” That’s the truth. If you’re in ministry—whether with kids, students, or adults—you don’t get to live however you want. You and I are called to live above reproach. That’s not my idea—that’s Bible.
Paul told Timothy that an overseer should be the kind of person others respect, someone self-controlled, hospitable, able to teach, not hot-headed, not money-hungry, and definitely not someone who can’t even keep their own house in order (1 Timothy 3:2–7). In other words, the way we carry ourselves is just as important as the words we teach.
So let’s get real practical. How do we live this out? How do we keep ministry leaders from being the punchline of a bad joke? Let me give you some “grandfatherly advice” from my years of leading and watching others lead.

1. Mind Your Manners (Yes, Even in Ministry)
Some people think “manners” are just for fancy dinners where you don’t know which fork to use. Nope. Manners are simply polite, well-bred social behavior. And believe me, the body of Christ needs ministers with good manners.
Ethics are the moral principles that guide our behavior.
Protocol is the code of conduct or the way things are done.

Put those together and you’ve got the basics of being a leader worth following. You don’t have to be stiff, but you do have to be respectable. I always tell young leaders: If you wouldn’t act that way in front of your grandma, don’t do it in ministry.

2. Start With Honor

Respect isn’t old-fashioned. It’s Kingdom.
Honor your pastors and leaders. Don’t roll your eyes when they give direction.
Respect your elders. Age is not a disease, it’s wisdom with wrinkles.
Don’t rebuke leaders in public. That’s never gone well in the history of the church.
Say “please” and “thank you.” You’ll be shocked how far basic kindness will take you.
And when it comes to communication—show respect in every medium: in person, on the phone, in emails, or even online. Don’t let your keyboard give you courage your character doesn’t back up. Never forget the tone of a text can easily be misinterpreted and an unanswered text speaks louder than you think.

3. Communication Counts

Want to win points with your leaders? Communicate well.
Voicemail: Keep it short and clear. Ain’t nobody got time for your three-minute ramble.
Meetings: Come prepared. Don’t show up with “I don’t know.” Bring answers—even if they’re multiple choice. Nobody likes essay questions. If your late apologize if you have to miss, let them know why ahead of time.
Being Out of the Office: Always let folks know where you are, who’s covering for you, and how to reach you if the world catches fire. Don’t make people guess.

4. Ethics & Protocol: The Ministry Basics
Here’s where leaders sometimes trip up. Let’s get super practical:
Treat guest ministers like VIPs.
If you ever have to cancel a guest or event, do it with integrity and plenty of notice.
Be wise in dealing with the opposite sex—boundaries keep you safe.
Dress like you represent Jesus, not like you just rolled out of bed.
Keep your office and spaces clean. Messy desk = messy brain.
Don’t “borrow” without asking—that’s called stealing.
Follow the policies. If your church has them, use them.
Don’t steal sheep, staff, or volunteers from other ministries. Trust me, it always backfires.
Be above board in handling money. Pennies matter. Take a picture of the receipt at time of purchase and go and turn it in.
If you ever leave a church, leave in a way that blesses—not burns—people.
And hey—get your pastor or supervisor what he/she actually wants, not what you think he/she should want. (Big difference there.)

5. When in Doubt, Ask
Here’s the simplest advice I can give you: Ask questions.
Don’t assume. Don’t fake it. Just ask. If you’re new, ask staff who’ve been around. Learn your leaders heart. The answer is often just one good question away.
Never tell you are taking off ask if you may take off.

6. Phone & Computer Etiquette

Can we talk about the elephant in the meeting? Your cell phone.
Don’t sit in a meeting scrolling Instagram. That’s just rude.
If you’re waiting on an urgent call, say so at the start. Then only answer if it’s critical.
Long meeting? Take a break, return your texts, only if it’s your spouse or boss and come back engaged.
Don’t search for something “more interesting” than the person you’re talking to. Spoiler: they’ll notice.
God gave us caller ID and voicemail for a reason—use them.

7. Sow What You Want to Reap
Want to be listened to? Start by listening.
Want to be respected? Respect authority.
Want to be promoted? Come prepared and participate well.

You don’t reap what you wish for—you reap what you sow.

At the end of the day, ministry isn’t just about how well you preach, teach, or organize—it’s about how well you carry yourself. Live above reproach. Mind your manners. Honor leaders. Communicate clearly. Respect boundaries. Ask when you’re unsure.
If you’ll sow those seeds, you’ll reap a harvest of influence, trust, and longevity in ministry.
And who knows—you might even make your grandma proud.

Want more articles like this plus all my books, video trainings, resources, a members only podcast plus Live Monthly Coaching Events? Join the NextGenLeaderLab.com.

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Want to Grow Your NextGen Ministry? You Don’t Have to Do It Alone.

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Let’s be real—ministry isn’t getting any easier.

Between recruiting volunteers, leading teams, planning events, managing curriculum, and keeping your own family afloat, it’s no wonder so many NextGen and Family Ministry leaders feel stretched thin.

But here’s the good news:
You don’t have to lead alone.

👋 Welcome to NextGenLeaderLab.com
This isn’t just a resource site. It’s an online coaching community created by ministry leaders for ministry leaders—led by yours truly, Jim Wideman, a pastor and coach who’s been in your shoes for nearly five decades.

At NextGen Leader Lab, you’ll find:

✅ Weekly mentoring articles on real-life leadership issues
✅ Live Q&A sessions where you can ask anything
✅ Downloadable tools you can use today
✅ A private community of leaders who get it
✅ Real-time coaching from someone who’s done it (and is still doing it)

⸻

Why the Lab Works

I’ve spent almost 50 years leading in churches big and small, and coaching hundreds of NextGen leaders. What I’ve learned is this: leaders grow better in community.

The Lab is where:
• New leaders get equipped and encouraged
• Veteran leaders stay sharp and refreshed
• And everyone learns how to lead well and last long

This isn’t about theory—it’s about practical ministry help you can use every week.

Who It’s For:
• Children’s Pastors
• NextGen or Family Ministry Pastors
• Youth Pastors stepping into oversight roles
• New leaders who want to build right
• Veteran leaders who want to finish strong

Let’s Build Something That Lasts—Together

There’s no magic wand in ministry. But there is a better way to grow—and it starts with coaching, community, and a commitment to keep learning.

👉 Click here to join the Lab today »

You’ll get instant access to resources, replays, and a tribe of leaders who’ve got your back.

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The Job, The Call, and the Kids We’re Hiring (AKA Millennials & Gen Z)

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Let me start by saying—I love working with younger generations. They keep me on my toes, teach me new words (like “rizz” and “delulu”), and make me Google acronyms just to stay in the conversation. But if you’ve ever led a team made up of Millennials and Gen Z, you’ve probably noticed something: they don’t think like we did when we were starting out in ministry. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing—it just means we’ve got to lead differently to get the values we want to instill in this new multigenerational workspace.

So let’s talk about three big ministry concepts: The Job, The Call, and The Crew You’re Doing It With.

1. The Job: What You’re Paid to Do

Back in the day, “the job” meant whatever needed to be done—no job descriptions, just expectations. You mowed the church lawn on Saturday and preached in Kidmin on Sunday. You got paid in pizza, donated expired food and “eternal rewards.”

But today’s young leaders? They’ve read the job description. They’ve highlighted it. They’ve probably sent you an email with a couple clarifying questions. If I can be honest I have a love/hate relationship with it, It shows they care about clarity and boundaries. Something my generation struggled with and have regrets over. Millennials and Gen Z aren’t lazy—they’re just not gonna say yes to “Empty Cup Syndrome” with a smile and a “bless your heart.” And honestly? Good for them.

How to lead them well:
Be clear. Be consistent. And make sure their job aligns with their strengths. Don’t hire a worship leader and ask them to design the graphics and social media just because they’re young unless you know they love Canva.

2. The Call: What You’re Born to Do

The call is bigger than the job. The call is why you cried at youth camp and surrendered your life to ministry—even though you didn’t fully understand what that meant. It’s that thing deep down in your soul that says, “I was made for this.”

Here’s the challenge: younger generations are passionate about purpose, but they don’t always see ministry as the only place to fulfill it. They might feel just as called to start a nonprofit, launch a podcast, or make Kingdom impact on TikTok. (Yes, even TikTok.)

How to lead them well:
Help them connect the dots between their calling and the local church. Show them how ministry isn’t just on the stage—it’s in the setup, the team huddle, the text you send on a Tuesday. And remind them that calling often looks like faithfulness over time, not viral moments.

3. The Crew: Working With Millennials & Gen Z

Here’s the thing—every generation is weird. (Even ours, Boomer. Especially ours.) We grew up on cassette tapes and Sunday night church. (Some of us on record players and tent crusades) They grew up on YouTube, Spotify, and asking why before they say yes. They’ve never lived without a Drive-Thru Window and a microwave. They are used to instant results. But instead of complaining about the “kids these days,” what if we started learning from them?

Millennials are loyal when they’re led well. Gen Z is creative, quick, and can build a sermon slide deck in less time than it takes us to find the remote. They want mentorship, feedback, and a voice at the table. They just don’t want to do it “because that’s how we’ve always done it.”

How to lead them well:
Be relational. Invest in their growth. Give them room to innovate—and yes, to fail. If you create a culture where questions are welcomed and growth is expected, you’ll build a team that’s more than staff—they’ll become your legacy.

The job may change as well as how it’s done. The generations will keep on coming. But the call to lead and disciple never goes out of style. So let’s keep showing up, keep learning, and keep making room at the table for the next wave of leaders—even if they show up with cold brew and a ring light. Leaders who stay teachable and adaptable don’t just make a difference—they leave a legacy that outlives them!

Because at the end of the day…
The job is what you do.
The call is why you do it.
And the team? They’re who you get to do it with.

Let’s lead them well—and maybe learn a few new dance moves while we’re at it.

If you’d like to learn more from someone old enough to remember flannel boards, yet young enough to send emojis 🎯🚀 join my NextGenLeaderLab.com

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There’s A Brand New Book Available

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What happens when you coach 12 of the sharpest Kidmin & NextGen leaders for 16 weeks that you’ve ever coached. YOU WRITE A BOOK! And that’s exactly what we did!

EVERYONE DOES BETTER WITH A COACH
Practical Solutions For Kidmin & NextGen Leaders is a brand new book from Jim Wideman Ministries.

Everyone can go farther and faster with someone coaching them than they can on their own. This is true in sports, it’s true in your health, it’s true in business and it’s also true in ministry.

I have always admired coaches. As a student of great teams in sports and ministry, I’ve been saying for years’Show me a successful team and I’ll show you a great coach.” I’ve also noticed truly great coaches have developed the skills to produce a winning team wherever they coach. Also they have learned how to assemble other great coaches around them. That’s exactly what I’ve done in EVERYONE DOES BETTER WITH A COACH- Practical Solutions For Kidmin & NextGen Leaders.

I’ve assembled some of the brightest and best coaches from my “Think Different Coaching Network. We identified some of the most common struggles that today’s Kidmin & NextGen leaders are facing and I asked each one to offer five solutions that you can do now to bring clarity and coaching to turn each challenge into an opportunity to improve. Each coach will also offer you a question to help guide you to taking your first step. Now you can get a team of coaches to help guide you to victory.
EVERYONE, YES EVERYONE DOES BETTER WITH A COACH.
When you order the paperback from me I’ll throw in the digital book free. Order yours today!

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There’s A Brand New Jim Wideman Book Available Now!

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Over thirty years ago, I began a journey that I’m still on today—a quest to move past “live well and do well” and to actually “lead well.” After fifteen years on the job trying to do my best and working hard, I realized there was more needed than just hard work, or even smart work for that matter. I realized true authentic leadership doesn’t come from a position or even a title; it comes from who you are, as well as, from who you are becoming. It comes from the inside out, and it is not a one-time choice; instead, it is the result of a daily choice to say yes to all of Jesus’ invitations.

One of the good things that came out of the shut down of 2020 for me is that my first book (Children’s Ministry Leadership “The-You-Can-Do-It-Guide”) that I  published more than twenty years ago, the rights, came back to me. Hallelujah! My idea was to read through it and make some updates and self-publish it and make an updated version of this popular book that has served as a textbook on Children’s Ministry Leadership for many colleges and seminaries.

As I started reading the book I realize more than the information inside had changed in twenty years. I had changed! In fact, I realized quick that I am not the same person I was when I wrote it the first time. I don’t think in the same ways, I don’t lead the same way. Although I am still involved in Children’s Ministry, my role had totally changed.  As the Executive Operations Pastor at my church. I mow oversee the finances, the data base, the facilities, HR, legal, security, guest services and car park, as well as Children’s Ministries. I have known from consulting and coaching with churches of all sizes, that the principles of leadership I live and teach work in every area of church ministry not just Children’s Ministry. 

That’s why, this is not the same book. I ended up not updated old material but totally re-writing the book from a whole different viewpoint and perspective as well as as over forty five years of hands-on experience.  What a wonderful opportunity I’ve been given to have a second chance to add, to take away, and to make the changes that I’ve wanted to make for years, as I have coached and taught through this material over the last twenty years.

I hope that wherever you are on your leadership journey that you’ll listen to Holy Spirit and apply what He will be speaking to you through this new book. We all have been called to be learners, and Jesus is not done leading us and showing us what He wants us to know and become, no matter what area of ministry you are currently leading.

I am so excited to announce beginning  October 5th, 2021 my new book “Authentic Leadership That Lasts” will be available for purchase. Right now you can pre-order it here at jimwideman.com  and be one of the first to receive it. I’ll also include a free digital copy as well for ordering from me. So follow the link and order your copy today! If you’d like to purchase multiple copies, reach out for quantity discounts. This new book is filled with gold, so get ready to dig.

 

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