Controlling Crazy

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Life can get wild and ministry can get crazy. When you don’t think things can get any busier, they can and they do. In my life I’ve learned ‘busy’ is a relative term. What one person calls busy is not busy to another. The fact is no matter how you define busy it causes you to be deal with pressure. Pressure can cause you to grow or it can also expose weakness in your abilities. Either way pressure is your friend. People are paid by how much pressure they can handle and deal with. If you want to make more money learn to handle more pressure and how to control crazy.

Jesus is our help and peace in stressful times. He is our help when life gets complicated, but it’s up to us to call on that help. He’s given us His word that he will help us here are  just a few of the scriptures I stand on when life gets crazy for me. Psalm 46:1 says, “God is our refuge and strength, an ever present help in trouble.” John 14:27 tells us “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.” John 14:16 promises “And I will pray the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may abide with you forever-. That other helper is also referred to as another comforter.  Jesus never leads you into something that will harm you. He is a safe guide His word always works. Jesus is the master of simplifying life. The laws of the Old Testament were many and complex yet Jesus made it very easy to follow them. 

Let’s take a look at Matthew 22:36-40…

36“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the law?” 37Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ ◙ 38This is the first and great commandment. 39And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ ◙ 40On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”

Jesus’ answers concerning life are always simple even though they may not always be easy to carry them out. These verses simplified the law but they are a fulltime job to carry out. Paul had a heart for following the Lord example.  You can tell he patterned his life after the example of Jesus by writing in 2Corinthians 1:12   “For our rejoicing is this, the testimony of our conscience, that in simplicity and godly sincerity, not with fleshly wisdom, but by the grace of God, we have had our conversation in the world, and more abundantly to you-ward. The devil always tries to complicate life just like he complicated God’s simple instructions to Adam and Eve.  He loves to complicate our lives by injecting wrong thoughts into our minds

2Corinthians 11:3 tells us “But I fear, lest by any means, as the serpent beguiled Eve through his subtlety, so your minds should be corrupted from the simplicity that is in Christ.”

We must choose to keep life simple! Sometimes our responsibilities and the pressures of life affects us all in a negative way. We have to choose simplicity. In Luke 10:38-42 we find the story of two sisters. Sisters who made two very different choices in how they reacted to Jesus coming to their home. The scriptures tell us “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, He came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to Him.  She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord’s feet listening to what He said.  But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to Him and asked, “Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!”  “Martha, Martha,” the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.” The key to simplifying life for me is to be a student of learning better personal and time management. Have you read my book “Beat The Clock”? This  resource has helped thousands of leaders learn some leadership and time-management basics. With this in mind here are 15 Steps in keeping life simple and controlling the crazy.

1. Set your priorities. This is something you have to get in the habit of doing daily. You can’t keep priorities if you don’t have priorities! Arrange your events, task and duties by priorities!

2. Keep your priorities in order. This is job one! The fact is priorities change. The order of your priorities may be different at different times. One of my favorite scriptures is Proverbs 28:2 “When a country is rebellious, it has many rulers, but a man of understanding and knowledge maintains order. This is you responsibility!

3. Delegate to others those things that they can do for you even if it’s short term. When you’re out of time the only way to get more is to use someone else’s. Make a list of everything you are doing that someone else can do and allow they to do it! Use checklists and job descriptions to get others to do it your way.

4. Use time saving tools. Some of the tools I use are my iPhone, iPad , a timer, iCal, voice mail, email, I even starting to use a program so others can choose an appointment so I don’t have to go back and forth with them and a laptop computer. But these tools can become time wasters if you use them wrong. Know when to talk not type, keep your notifications off when you are working on other things. Add a worker website, post videos and  let blogs replace worker meetings.

5. Do more than one thing at a time. Take advantage of commute times and wait times to study, have meetings, people development, return messages, and make assignments to others by phone. Use meals to put into people. Ride together and set up with the meeting is about. I pay so we’ll talk about what I want to cover on the way back we wrap up and make assignments on what needs to be carried out. Take reading with you wherever you go as well as other work. (Here’s another reason I love my Iphone!)

6. Decide what can be postponed or eliminated. This goes back to your priorities. Keep those activities and events that are urgent or important on top. Don’t just look at the task look at the time it takes to pull it off also. Learn to say no! Learning to say no also means saying yes to right things. To say yes to urgent and important matters means you say no to less urgent or important things. When time is short look to focus on now and don’t look too far ahead. 

7. Get creative with your family time. Take them with you whenever you can and combine family time with business and leisure activities. Call them and let them know you were thinking of them.

8. Schedule a break even if it’s only for a few hours. (Even convicts get time off for good behavior)

Some of my getaway places are playing guitar, going to the music store, Starbucks, the bicycle store and Best Buy.

9. Be open to change in your lifestyle (Different results require different actions)

Don’t despise change. It’s alright to do things differently. Guard your thoughts and your tongue

10. Do your homework and see what others do in hectic times. Check up on busy people – see what they are doing on facebook, or twitter. Network at conferences and also on sites like KidminCoach.com.

11. Stop and listen to Jesus.  Make time for the Word. It your responsibility to stay refreshed spiritually.

Feed your spirit daily you feed you belly daily. If you can’t go to church, listen to the podcast or watch the livestream. But it will truly help you spiritually to go to church.

12. When you are tired and busy, don’t think. Rely on a checklist. Paper is for remembering, your brain is for thinking and dreaming. Have the information you need with you when you go to meetings including, flowcharts and other reports. 

13. Don’t quit or make big decisions during busy and stressful times. Wait to make big decisions when things slow down. Also never make people decisions when time is limited. Slow down and think it through.

14. Develop a plan to make next year better the minute an event or activity is over.  Learn from your experiences and the best time to do this is while it’s fresh on your mind. Start next year’s file now. Speaking of planning ahead go ahead and put next year’s date on the calendar as well as plan as far ahead as possible. Do you have 2017 planned yet? Smart leaders plan as far ahead as possible to keep life balanced. Get feedback from others to help you plan better. A smart person makes time to listen and learn. When it’s over, crash. Get some rest. Always schedule a break between big pushes and events. Watch out for too many irons in the fire.

15. Do more by doing less. Focus on the main thing! Are you doing what only you should be doing, or are you doing things that someone else can do? It’s time to evaluate and ask yourself if you are focusing on the main thing.

To keep life simple and control the crazy, you must evaluate constantly. Measure your progress including your fruit, gains, loses and efficiency. Listen to your spouse on what should you discontinue, change and/or add. Things naturally get complex on their own that’s why you have to be intentional to keep life simple. Get out that calendar and make a plan to make you, your family and your ministry better.

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What’s God Been Saying?

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Hello blog world, it’s been a while since we talked. Nineteen months to be exact. In that time many of you have changed churches, changes roles or positions within your churches, or you’ve entered the ministry for the first time. I’m sure you read tons on blogs, listen to all the new podcast and have read all the cool new books about ministry that have come down the pike but I’ve got a question for you…”What’s God been saying to you?” Years ago I realized something that a dear friend and Timothy reminded me of, just this week, “Thus sayeth the Lord works every time!” Every time, Jim? Yep, every time!

I’ve never been sorry for hearing God’s voice and doing what He has told me to do, it always works, yes always. So here’s a question for you, why do we jump on a facebook group or listen to all these other voices and resources rather than asking Jesus what He wants us to do? One of my favorite chapter’s in the Bible is John chapter 10. It says Jesus is our good shepherd and we are His sheep. He knows us and we know His voice. In fact it goes on the say that the voices of a stranger we won’t hear. So when was the last time you sat down and really listened for His voice? What’s He saying? Are you willing to do what He says? I mean are you willing to do exactly what He says? I am, that’s why I back here blogging again. In fact in the days to come you’ll see a lot more of me being obedient to what Jesus is saying to me. I want to hear what He’s saying to me today. That’s why I’m listening with all my heart for my Shepherd’s voice and doing what He says to me. Never quit listening to God’s voice and doing what He says. You’ll discover what God says always works.

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10 Things I Wish Old Jim Could Teach Young Jim

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A wise old man once told me, “Experience is the best teacher, but it doesn’t have to be your   experiences that you learn from.” Every person I know who is successful has learned from a lifetime of mistakes—theirs as well as the mistakes of others. My mom always told me, “Jim, don’t make the same mistake twice. There’s enough different ones you can make every time.” No truer statement has ever been uttered.

Having done children’s ministry in my 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and now my 60s, I’ve had a chance to make a lot of different mistakes and choices along the way. Would I do things differently if I could go back and do it again? Sure I would. We all would, because hindsight is always 20/20. Forty years ago I could not have taught you leadership. I hadn’t learned it yet. Forty years ago I had very few workers. I had a big vision, but didn’t know how to make a plan and lead others. I was a hard worker but not a smart worker. The good news is God blessed me in spite of myself. The dreams that were in my heart were not coming to pass. I was smart enough to get some help and to do things differently rather than keep doing what was not working and expecting a different outcome. I’m so glad that years ago I decided that I would become a lifetime learner. I am still learning, but to do so, I have to just say “no” to the know-it-all spirit. So with this in mind, let’s look at 10 things I wish Old Jim could teach Young Jim.

  1. Don’t be a one-man show. Build a team. When you train, empower and release others. It makes it possible for you to do what only you should be doing. There really is no success without successors, which is a byproduct of team building. Just like in sports the key to continued success is to build depth at every key position. This doesn’t happen by delegation alone but by duplicating yourself and the vision into those you lead. Duplication comes through coaching and hands-on training. Young Jim did it all himself. Old Jim allows the team to develop their skills through coaching and encouraging, as well as by doing. Everyone does better with a coach!
  1. Watch how you think. Your thinking controls your actions. It moves you forward or holds you back. I was a lot more opinionated when I was younger than I am now. It took me years before I would and could admit that I don’t know what I’m doing. That’s why it’s always smart to evaluate your thinking and choose to think God’s way. I love Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right,whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” I wish I did this all the time, but if you’re not evaluating how you think on a regular basis, bad stuff happens. It will always work to your favor to think like Jesus. Think in steps. That’s how God leads the righteous. Think like a parent and those you are serving. Think like a visitor. Old Jim has a lot more check-ups from the neck up. Take every thought captive to be obedient to Christ Jesus.
  1. Learn from others! Read! Join a local kidmin network. If one doesn’t exist in your area, start one. Find a mentor or a coach. (Have you checked out Infuse or kidmincoach.com?) Study those who are successful. Don’t just study what they do, but learn why they do what they do. I have come to realize effective leadership is a process not a pill. Learn the process and the why behind it. Look for a model that you can tweak to fit your church and ministry. Jim, is it wrong to borrow ideas? I sure hope not or I’d be in trouble. Learn how to copy, but at the same time learn how to make the copy your own. Ask questions, tons of them, to anyone who will let you. Also, never be afraid to try what you’re learning—experiment with it.
  1. Commit to the long haul. Jim, are you telling us when you were younger you thought about quitting? I sure did … every Monday for a while. It took me a while to stop looking at what I was seeing and have a vision of the finish line. Here are some biggies I wish I had known.
  • Don’t talk about leaving every time you experience pushback.
  • Be willing to put your dreams on the back burner to serve someone else’s dreams. Every dream I ever had came true by being willing to help others see their dreams come true.
  • Be secure in your calling. If God called you, and He leads your steps, the things you are experiencing good or bad are not a surprise to Him, so trust Him to lead you.
  • It’s my job to remember leading is all about serving. I’ve found when I amconsumed in better ways to serve kids and families—serve those who help you and serve your pastor—it helps me not be the center of attention.
  • One of the things I’d love to tell young Jim is to be on the lookout for fear. Anytime fear is around you’re about to head backwards instead of forward. Never give into fear. It will always stop you short of the finish line. The two fears that I had to face the most were fear of failure and fear of losing my job. You might face different fears. The key is to face them head on and replace fear with faith.
  • Another enemy of finishing strong is trying to do everything overnight. Too much too quick is always trouble. Do things in phases or steps, and learn to live by priorities. Have realistic expectations for yourself, and don’t stop until you hear God say it’s done.
  1. Don’t take part in power plays! I don’t know why even as adults we sometimes act like kids. Don’t try to get your way all the time. There’s no “I” in team. Old Jim would tell Young Jim that thinking about the well-being of others will always lead you to being the team player you need to be. Look for every opportunity to esteem the team. I’ve never enjoyed being around pouters, so I have to examine myself and don’t pout. I’d also tell Young Jim that there’s no place for threats in the workplace. Don’t threaten to leave, and don’t ever pull out the “God said card” in a meeting. If God said it, that’s a discussion stopper. Know when you need to lose a battle to win a war. Anytime I enter a negotiation I have to know what I’m willing to give up to take new ground. I’ve also found out that sometimes it’s better to keep your mouth shut and not defend yourself so it will not appear like you’re arguing. Old Jim knows God is your Defender and He gives grace to the humble. When it comes to staying away from power plays, don’t make someone else look bad to get your way. Old Jim knows that blessed is the peacemaker. Anytime you have the opportunity to make peace, go for it!
  1. Take care of your health! Old Jim is being forced to do this today. Exercise, sleep, and good nutrition are essential to you finishing well. Making time for important things is something that will help you at any age. I wish Young Jim knew that making time for exercise has to be a part of your weekly routine, just like meetings and ministry. I know firsthand that everyone makes time for what they really want to make time for. Old Jim would tell Young Jim to make time for the right things. I realize now I’ve been guilty of working on the wrong temple. Neglecting one to work on the other was not real smart. They both deserve our best and both need a plan of action.
  1. The law of the lid determines the quality of leaders I can draw. I didn’t realize in my early years of ministry I was holding myself back for not growing my leadership. Go back to number three and put some action steps in place to improve your leadership level. You will never attract workers sharper than you are.
  1. Put your family second only to your relationship to God. Do things that your family will remember forever. If I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have spent all my vacation time visiting parents and doing ministry. Guard your days off and make them special for your family. Guard your nights. I think it’s important that a family church allows for family time. Listen to your family, and be sensitive to their needs. To do that, you have to listen with your eyes as well as your ears.
  1. Represent your leader well. Jesus said if you’ve seen me you’ve seen the Father. Could this be said of you? Simple things like: dressing appropriately, not being silly, not building loyalties to yourself, and never talking negatively about those in leadership above you. Be your pastor’s biggest fan!
  1. Be a lover of God’s people. The ministry is all about relationships. People matter! I believe the time we spend to empower and encourage people is never wasted. Old Jim knows people are more valuable than programs, meetings, and study. I’m more thankful for the people God has put into my life than the accomplishments I’ve seen.  People are important to God and should be important to us.
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We Said No To Ho, Ho, Ho

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Back in November of 1978, Julie and I began our lives together. It was a wonderful day, all the the kids in our children’s church were so excited about attending our wedding. I’ll never forget one little fellow name Zack asked us if he could go on our “Moon ride” with us. I told him he couldn’t and one day he would have his own “Moon ride.” (He thought when his parents said we were going on a honeymoon they said we were going on a moon ride) I had no idea all of the work involved in the two becoming one. You see although Julie and I both loved Jesus, our families, rock and roll and each other we soon found out we has come from two completely different parenting styles. As we began to talk about all of our differences the big desire of our hearts was to train our children based on God’s Word more than our own family and cultural traditions.

A few years ago I wrote an article here on my blog and in Kidzmatter! on “Developing A Biblical Word View in your Family” In that article I wrote:

“Just like the church needs a Biblical vision for reaching children so does the family. Have you ever asked God for what He wants for your family? I realized that God designed the family to put His word into future generations. If you aim at nothing you’ll hit it every time. So if God gives us the desires of your heart what is your desire and goals for your children? For me I wanted our family to be close. I wanted them to love the Lord with all their heart and love the word. In fact I wanted them to love the Bible so much that it was what they based every choice in their life on. “

Julie and I believed the Bible was and still is the benchmark of how we should view the world and how we live. The Bible tells us we are in the world but we are not of the world. The Bible also tells us to come out of the world and be separate yet we are told to be salt and light to the world. Over the years I have studied families and the different way they parent. I’ve also studied churches and the different way they do church. To me the families and churches who have the greatest success are the ones who have teamed together to join their forces to develop in individuals a biblical view of how to live 24/7.  I have had the wonderful honor of raising two wonderful daughters. They are both successful not only in business but also in their spiritual walk.  My girls are as different as night and day, if I had not been in the delivery room with both of them I would not believe they were kin. I have had to discipline them differently, I have to communicate and instruct them differently. But when it comes down to making choices and how to live it was the same for them as it was for their mother and I and that was “What does the Bible say?”

There are lots of voices that speak into our lives that challenge a biblical world view. As a parent and as a pastor I cannot block out every voice that speaks to my family and to my congregation nor should I but I have spent my life pointing out that God’s word contains truth and the truth of the Word is what will set us free. God’s word is the filter we should view the world through! Years ago I learned that all a stronghold is, is believing wrong information. When we take captive every thought and make it obedient to the word of God it produces right thinking that creates right actions. Our actions come from our thinking, that’s why we have to be intentional about the voices we listen to and the actions we do, regardless of our age. When my children were small we limited the voices and the “traditions we planted in our children.” Just because a movie or TV show was animated or geared for children didn’t mean we allowed our children to feed on it.”

This led us to the big question what were we going to do about mythical traditions?

Julie and I both grew up in Christian households. Both of our families attended church on a regular basis. Our parents also told us both about the tooth fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. We also both grew up watching all the disney “fairytale” movies and reading traditional children’s books. When Julie and I found out that our parents were really “Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth fairy” it affected us differently. Julie just kind of went along as long as her parents wanted to play the game. I felt betrayed. It also made me question was Jesus real too or did they make Him up too?

One thing Julie and I knew was we wanted to do whatever we could to help our kids know the difference between fiction and truth.

We decided to do something that might not have been popular but we felt it was what was right for us as a family. We chose to not tell them there was a tooth fairy, Daddy bought their teeth. Oh we still to this day give our kids Easter Baskets but they don’t come from Peter Cottontail hopping down the bunny trail they come from Mom and Dad.

But the most controversial decision we ever made was to say say no to Ho Ho Ho!

We never told our girls their Christmas presents came from the north pole or that they where made by elves. We told them the stories as stories not as truth. The truth was their presents came from Mom and Dad with love bought with money Father God provided to us because He loves His kids and wants us to love ours. We told our children that Father God started the whole gift giving tradition by giving the first Christmas present His one and only son. I don’t think our girls could have been more excited about Christmas than they were growing up. They went to bed wondering what Mom and Dad were going to give them in the same way other kids were excited about presents from Santa. The funny thing that would happen was when adults would ask Yancy what Santa was going to bring her she would answer nothing. Those adults would look at use like we were the worst parents in the world. I’ll be honest with you at first I was guilty of being somewhat of a Santa basher. Some of you might have heard a song I wrote for an early Puppet Trax tape that said “Santa Claus never died for anybody’s sin and the Easter Bunny never rose again.” I remember walking through the mall around Christmas time and saw a mall Santa. I remember saying something about there he is, the God of this world and I remember Yancy as a very little girl saying Dad it’s just a man in a suit like your gorilla suits. After that I just took a chill pill I had done what we wanted to do, we had taught our girls the difference between truth and fantasy.

My kids, as they got older loved Disney. They were big Snow White fans, Big Little Mermaid fans. They loved puppets, all my full bodied costumes and even clowns. They even have had their picture made with Santa. But more than anything my girls love Jesus. They love their parents and are very close to us. Although we are not perfect parents we have never told them a half truth, a white lie or fantasy story as a true story.

Because of this my children believed me about Jesus   When I told them about the hurt and pain from living contrary to God’s word they believed me, didn’t need to experience the pain themselves they learned from my mistakes and believed me, because I’ve always told them the truth. I learned when I first started working with kids  in church to always keep your promises to them. I never made a promise in children’s church that I couldn’t keep, if I did that at church I needed to do that at home.

I have no regrets for telling my kids the truth. They still look forward to Christmas and seeing what they are going to get from Mom and Dad but greater than that they know the reason for the season that God’s son became a man and dwelt among us!

Now my oldest has two sons of her own. She and her husband made a choice for their kids to follow this example and tell their kids the truth about Christmas. My big grandson loves Christmas as much as his mom and I’m sure his little brother will be just as excited once he get’s older. But I want for them what I wanted for their mom and aunt Woo, that their G and GiGi will always speak the truth of God’s word to our family in love, no matter if it’s not popular.

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Learning From Our Mistakes

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In my book Tweetable Leadership one of my favorite tweets is” Experience is the best teacher but it’s doesn’t have to be your experiences that you learn from.” This is true but so is this one…”Don’t make the same mistake twice, there are enough different ones you can make each time.”  I don’t why I learn from others more than I learn from my own mistakes. One of the mistakes I seem to make over and over is I push myself too much. I go until I can’t go anymore then I rest and work on boosting my adrenals then I get back after it. Not only has this become my routine but I’ve passed this on to my children and tons of x-employees. I was suppose to be in Atlanta today for meetings but I believe the Lord moved my meeting to the next week so I could work on me and learn from my own mistakes and work on me. So what did yo do Jim? I’m glad you asked.

1. I got on my calendar and booked a massage every few weeks for the rest of the year to work on my health.

2. I got on my calendar and watched how many nights I had in a row and scheduled myself some down time.

3. I also went ahead and scheduled all my vacation for the rest of the year.

So what mistakes are you making on a regular basis when you need different action for yourself, your family, and your ministry?

Post them here under comments.

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